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标题: 汉诗英译:《读你》 原创:迁安阿紫 翻译:郁序新 [打印本页]

作者: 郁序新    时间: 2013-9-2 14:26
标题: 汉诗英译:《读你》 原创:迁安阿紫 翻译:郁序新
本帖最后由 郁序新 于 2013-9-3 16:59 编辑

《读你》 
原创:迁安阿紫

Read You   
translated by Tulip

01.

多么神奇
你把欲逃的目光锁住
聚焦在你如雪的发丝间
风吹日晒的脸更像青铜
多少沧桑融入孤寂的修行!
你的眼里
蓄满山的纹理水的剑影


01.

How magical !
You have locked the escaping vision
That focuses on your snow white hair
The windblown and sunlit face looks like a bronze
How many vicissitudes must you experience in your solitary practice?
In your eyes
The shadow of a sword grows with mountains and waves


02.

多想打开你紧闭的双唇
听你诵读经文心跳的旋律
尘世的哀怨闹市的喧嚣
都被灵魂膜拜的梵音
你的眼里
夜如白昼 星如太阳

02.

I’m eager to open your closed lips
Listen to your heartbeat melody in reading holy words
The worldly noise and hustle are completely
Cast away through your worship to the holy soul
In your eyes
A night as the daylight and a start as the sun


03.

遇见你
像遇见生命的苍凉
如雕塑如明镜
岁月留下的伤痕
就像你脸上的皱纹
凌乱的白发
就像纵横心间的思绪
一切都那么鲜活那么清晰

03.

When I meet you
I seem to encounter the desolation of life
Like the mirror of a sculpture
The years-left scars
As the wrinkles on your face
The shaggy gray hair
As shifting thoughts across the chest
Everything is so fresh and so vivid in front of me


04.

遇见你
我不再逃避乱世
不拒绝
鲜花掌声的美丽
不哀叹
朝代更替的变奏
我学会
在纷扰中打坐
在秋水间泛舟
在苦行中沉默
读你坚毅的目光
点燃生命的火焰
照亮黑夜的远方

04.

When I meet you
I won’t escape from the dust
Not reject
The beautiful blooms applause
Not bewail
Changes of different dynasties
I got knowledge of  
Meditation in the tumult
Of boating on the autumn water
Of keeping silence in austerities
I read your persistent eyes
You kindle the flame of life
And illuminate the night from afar


05.

这是一场神奇的相遇!
从逃避到悦读
从遥远的印度到我的领土
这是心与心的对白
这是灵魂与灵魂的烛照
我的爱融进你深邃的目光
无暇去问
声声如潮的蝉鸣为谁歌唱
粒粒如雨的汗水为谁流淌

05.

This is a magical encounter!
From the escape to the happy reading
From distant India to my motherland
This is a dialogue from heart to heart
This is a candle-light from spirit to spirit  
My love has been melted into your profound eyes
No time to ask
For whom do cicadas make their songs as waves?
For whom do sweats flow all over as drops of rain?


2013年9月2日
译于苏州











作者: 张智文    时间: 2013-9-2 14:38
真好  羡慕  {:soso_e142:}
作者: 乐冰    时间: 2013-9-2 17:17
流派网离不开你这样的翻译
作者: 蒲必达    时间: 2013-9-2 19:59
本帖最后由 蒲必达 于 2013-9-2 20:17 编辑

这个比较难翻译,以为原文就比较难懂。我个人比较喜欢像李白
“醉起步溪月”一类的大实话。我一直纳闷现代诗的这种意象是从
哪里承传下来的呢。我不是说原诗不好,我只是说由于我个人的
阅读限制,把握不住作者的意图。我自己总结原因,大概是因为
时代发展了,而我的思维还没有与时共进。

尽管如此,我还要就第一段提两点意见,和诗友商榷。

第一:

You have locked the escaping vision
That focuses on your snow white hair

我觉得这两句讲的一件事。第一句用的完成时,第二句是现在一般时,
感觉有点不对头。你已经把目光抓住了,然后又把它怎么怎么样,我觉
得作者说的是这一意思。如果我理解的是对的,那请问“我把小偷抓住了并把他
送到派出所”这句话怎么翻?

第二,

The windblown and sunlit face looks like a bronze
How many vicissitudes must you experience in your solitary practice?

我觉得第二句的意思与原诗不符。我觉得原诗说的是这个风吹日晒的脸
已经象青铜了,那么你一定是经历过了许多沧桑。当然中文里不这么
表达,但是是这种逻辑关系。你翻出来的意思是:你必须要经历多少沧桑,
【才能怎么怎么样】。这个我以前说过的话是一致的,再说一遍。说到这我想起一首
老歌,我抄在下面。

当然我说的都是我个人的看法,再强调一遍。

How many roads must a man walk down
Before they call him a man
How many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand
How many times must the cannonballs fly
Before they are forever banned
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind
The answer is blowing in the wind

How many years must a mountain exist
Before it is washed to the sea
How many years can some people exist
Before they're allowed to be free
How many times can a man turn his head
And pretend that he just doesn't see
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind
The answer is blowing in the wind

How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky
How many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry
How many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind
The answer is blowing in the wind
作者: 书剑飘零    时间: 2013-9-2 20:19
神奇的相遇。{:soso_e100:}
作者: 郑智得    时间: 2013-9-2 23:56
欣赏学习!
作者: 绝不收兵    时间: 2013-9-3 00:23
{:soso_e163:}{:soso_e157:}{:soso_e157:}兵兵学习阿紫姐姐和老师的佳作{:soso_e192:}
作者: 夜1969    时间: 2013-9-3 10:25
欣赏序新的译诗,并恭喜阿紫!
作者: 郁序新    时间: 2013-9-3 17:00
张智文 发表于 2013-9-2 14:38
真好  羡慕

谢谢张智文老师首赏!
作者: 郁序新    时间: 2013-9-3 17:00
乐冰 发表于 2013-9-2 17:17
流派网离不开你这样的翻译

谢谢乐冰诗人的一贯支持!
作者: 依稀十月    时间: 2013-9-5 18:05
{:soso_e163:}{:soso_e163:}{:soso_e163:}
作者: 萧寒    时间: 2013-9-5 18:24
也来送花{:soso_e163:}




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