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标题: 精译经典：叶芝 ”柯尔庄园的野天鹅“ [打印本页]

作者: 叶如钢 时间: 2015-5-26 06:46
标题: 精译经典：叶芝 ”柯尔庄园的野天鹅“
本帖最后由叶如钢于 2015-11-25 05:14 编辑

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柯尔庄园的野天鹅

原作：叶芝
翻译：叶如钢

树木呈现着秋季美丽，
林地的路径干燥。
水面在十月清晨里，
把静谧的天空映照。
湛亮的水上，石头之间，
五十九只天鹅流连。

自从第一次点数它们，
我走入第十九个秋季。
回想我还没数完就看见
它们忽然都腾起，
盘旋成断续的大圆圈，
嘹亮地扇着翅膀飞散。

我仰望过这些亮丽飞禽，
如今心中充满伤感。
一切都变了，自从我初次
在这清晨岸边听见
头顶上方翅膀响亮拍击，
而我还踏着轻松步履。

爱侣们相携，仍未疲倦，
在相随的冷水流中划行，
或者在空中攀升；
它们的心仍然年轻。
不管在哪儿飘荡，
激情或壮志仍然昂扬。

可如今，在静谧水上漂浮，
它们神秘而美丽；
在哪个湖畔，水池让人悦目，
在哪种灯芯草丛里筑居？
而我在某一天醒后，
发现它们已经飞走。

注：网上找到的几个翻译版本，都把这首诗里的 twilight
翻译成黄昏。这是不对的。这里指的是凌晨，
清晨。翻译成黄昏，是没有考虑原诗的前后逻辑，也是不了解
天鹅的习性。上面的照片就是在清晨拍摄的。

Wild  Swans At Coole

William Butler Yeats

THE TREES are in their autumn beauty,
The woodland paths are dry,
Under the October twilight the water
Mirrors a still sky;
Upon the brimming water among the stones
Are nine and fifty swans.

The nineteenth Autumn has come upon me
Since I first made my count;
I saw, before I had well finished,
All suddenly mount       10
And scatter wheeling in great broken rings
Upon their clamorous wings.

I have looked upon those brilliant creatures,
And now my heart is sore.
All’s changed since I, hearing at twilight,
The first time on this shore,
The bell-beat of their wings above my head,
Trod with a lighter tread.

Unwearied still, lover by lover,
They paddle in the cold,
Companionable streams or climb the air;
Their hearts have not grown old;
Passion or conquest, wander where they will,
Attend upon them still.

But now they drift on the still water
Mysterious, beautiful;
Among what rushes will they build,
By what lake’s edge or pool
Delight men’s eyes, when I awake some day
To find they have flown away?

转贴：

“The Wild Swans at Coole”
Summary

With the trees “in their autumn beauty,” the speaker walks down the dry woodland paths to the water, which mirrors the still October twilight of the sky. Upon the water float “nine-and-fifty swans.” The speaker says that nineteen years have passed since he first came to the water and counted the swans; that first time, before he had “well finished,” he saw the swans mount up into the sky and scatter, “whelling in great broken rings / Upon their clamorous wings.” The speaker says that his heart is sore, for after nineteen autumns of watching and being cheered by the swans, he finds that everything in his life has changed. The swans, though, are still unwearied, and they paddle by in the water or fly by in the air in pairs, “lover by lover.” Their hearts, the speaker says, “have not grown cold,” and wherever they go they are attended by “passion or conquest.” But now, as they drift over the still water, they are “Mysterious, beautiful,” and the speaker wonders where they will build their nests, and by what lake’s edge or pool they will “delight men’s eyes,” when he awakes one morning to find that they have flown away.

Form

“The Wild Swans at Coole” is written in a very regular stanza form: five six-line stanzas, each written in a roughly iambic meter, with the first and third lines in tetrameter, the second, fourth, and sixth lines in trimeter, and the fifth line in pentameter, so that the pattern of stressed syllables in each stanza is 434353. The rhyme scheme in each stanza is ABCBDD.

Commentary

One of the most unusual features of Yeats’s poetic career is the fact that the poet came into his greatest powers only as he neared old age; whereas many poets fade after the first burst of youth, Yeats continued to grow more confident and more innovative with his writing until almost the day he died. Though he was a famous and successful writer in his youth, his poetic reputation today is founded almost solely on poems written after he was fifty. He is thus the great poet of old age, writing honestly and with astonishing force about the pain of time’s passage and feeling that the ageless heart was “fastened to a dying animal,” as he wrote in “Sailing to Byzantium.” The great struggle that enlivens many of Yeats’s best poems is the struggle to uphold the integrity of the soul, and to preserve the mind’s connection to the “deep heart’s core,” despite physical decay and the pain of memory.

“The Wild Swans at Coole,” part of the 1919 collection of the same name, is one of Yeats’s earliest and most moving testaments to the heart-ache of living in a time when “all’s changed.” (And when Yeats says “All’s changed, changed utterly” in the fifteen years since he first saw the swans, he means it—the First World War and the Irish civil war both occurred during these years.) The simple narrative of the poem, recounting the poet’s trips to the lake at Augusta Gregory’s Coole Park residence to count the swans on the water, is given its solemn serenity by the beautiful nature imagery of the early stanzas, the plaintive tone of the poet, and the carefully constructed poetic stanza—the two trimeter lines, which give the poet an opportunity to utter short, heartfelt statements before a long silence ensured by the short line (“Their hearts have not grown old...”). The speaker, caught up in the gentle pain of personal memory, contrasts sharply with the swans, which are treated as symbols of the essential: their hearts have not grown old; they are still attended by passion and conquest.

作者: 王法 时间: 2015-5-29 17:22
好诗佳译。

作者: 雪原兰波 时间: 2015-5-29 18:43
美的腻了。。

作者: 叶如钢 时间: 2015-5-30 05:31

王法发表于 2015-5-29 17:22
好诗佳译。

多谢法老关注和鼓励！
问候早安。

作者: 叶如钢 时间: 2015-5-30 05:32

雪原兰波发表于 2015-5-29 18:43
美的腻了。。

多谢诗友！问候早安。

作者: 王法 时间: 2015-5-30 08:41

叶如钢发表于 2015-5-30 00:31
多谢法老关注和鼓励！
问候早安。

谢谢喜欢您的文字。问好健康快乐

作者: 叶如钢 时间: 2015-5-30 21:43

王法发表于 2015-5-30 08:41
谢谢喜欢您的文字。问好健康快乐

再谢法老。祝福，晚安。

作者: 王法 时间: 2015-5-31 07:22

叶如钢发表于 2015-5-30 16:43
再谢法老。祝福，晚安。

谢谢致安。

作者: 叶如钢 时间: 2015-11-13 14:21
供参考。

作者: 林水云风 时间: 2015-11-24 22:33
twilight，译成清晨，有道理。我也译成了黄昏，当改。

作者: 叶如钢 时间: 2015-11-25 05:03

林水云风发表于 2015-11-24 22:33
twilight，译成清晨，有道理。我也译成了黄昏，当改。

多谢诗友光临。问候你！

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