一朵红红的玫瑰

潘学峰

一朵红红的玫瑰

潘学峰译

啊！我的爱情就象一朵红红的玫瑰
，初开在六月
啊！我的爱情就象一首甜美的小夜曲
，被悠扬地演奏
你多么象这美妙的艺术，我清丽的爱人
我已深陷爱河

我将爱你到海枯，我的爱人
爱你直到海枯哦，我的爱人
爱你直到石头也被太阳融化
我将爱你到沙子的生命也被融化，我的爱人
并且会好好侍奉你，我唯一的爱人
好好侍奉你到永远
我将重返你身边，我的爱人
即使路途迢迢万里远

A Red, Red Rose

Robert Burns

O, my luve is like a red, red rose,
That's newly sprung in June.
O, my luve is like the melodie,
That's sweetly play'd in tune.
As fair art thou, my bonie lass,
So deep in luve am I,
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a' the seas gang dry.

Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi' the sun!
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o' life shall run.

And fare thee weel, my only luve,
And fare thee weel a while!

And I will come again, my luve,
Tho' it were ten thousand mile!


2014年9月18日整理
译后

本诗歌的作者是我第二故乡苏格兰抒情诗人，他的家乡位于格拉斯哥地区。这位诗人是我最早对英语诗歌产生兴趣的引子，因此彭斯给我的英文诗歌学习和写作起到了牵引者的作用。彭斯的诗歌大部分是古英语写成，没有比较深厚的英语功底就不好阅读和欣赏。不只欣赏他的诗歌，更敬佩其为人的钢质，他的诗歌成为了苏格兰国歌，他是一位情柔似水，志硬如钢的苏格兰农民！

我曾经写过纪念彭斯的汉语诗歌

现引证如下：



我在想/他会如何的生活在这座农舍/犁放在哪？马厩又在哪？/写诗的书桌又摆哪？/
在木门边么？还是挨着窗？


                                                                          画配诗歌


我在想
他会如何的生活在这座农舍
犁放在哪？马厩又在哪？
写诗的书桌又摆哪？
在木门边么？还是挨着窗？

老鼠什么时候出来？
它会在油灯的影子里写诗，
还是到院子里看玫瑰花？
那玫瑰种在了哪里？
可在月光下看出她的红？

多少瓦的月光，唤醒了虱子？
咬他的背？还是他的头？
那个时候
他是在写诗么？
写的a Man's man for A that
还是 Tam O Shanter?

是什么唤起了他如水的柔情
是　Sherramuir之战？
还是那Ae Fond Kiss？
他又如何地高唱  
友谊地久天长？！

这首诗歌是对苏格兰诗人Robert Burns 的纪念，这首诗歌里包含了Burns最具影响的诗作： "A Red, Red Rose"， "A Man's a Man for A' That"，"To a Louse"，"To a Mouse"， "The Battle of Sherramuir"; "Tam o' Shanter"，"Ae Fond Kiss"和 "Auld Lang Syne"等。

英文版

To Robert Burns

By Xuefeng Pan

I was thinking how he would live in a farmhouse like this!
Where was the plough? And where was the stable?
Where was the desk for writing poetry?           

In the wooden door? Or next to the window?
When did the mouse come out?           
Would it be in the shadow of the oil lamp reading the poetry?
Or going to the yard to see roses?

Where was the rose?
Could her red be seen in the moonlight?
How much of the moonlight awakened the louse?           
Did it bite? His back? Or his head?           
At that time, was he writing a poem?
Writing what?
Man's man for A a that
Or Tam O Shanter?

What aroused his tender feelings like water?
Was the battle of Sherramuir?
Or Ae Fond Kiss?           
How did he sing?           
The Auld Lang Syne?!

于2019年9月28日夜

李世纯

                                                                   画配诗歌


我在想
他会如何的生活在这座农舍
犁放在哪？马厩又在哪？
写诗的书桌又摆哪？
在木门边么？还是挨着窗？

老鼠什么时候出来？
它会在油灯的影子里写诗，
还是到院子里看玫瑰花？
那玫瑰种在了哪里？
可在月光下看出她的红？

多少瓦的月光，唤醒了虱子？
咬他的背？还是他的头？
那个时候
他是在写诗么？
写的a Man's man for A that
还是 Tam O Shanter?

是什么唤起了他如水的柔情
是　Sherramuir之战？
还是那Ae Fond Kiss？
他又如何地高唱  
友谊地久天长？！

这首诗歌是对苏格兰诗人Robert Burns 的纪念，这首诗歌里包含了Burns最具影响的诗作： "A Red, Red Rose"， "A Man's a Man for A' That"，"To a Louse"，"To a Mouse"， "The Battle of Sherramuir"; "Tam o' Shanter"，"Ae Fond Kiss"和 "Auld Lang Syne"等。

英文版

To Robert Burns

By Xuefeng Pan

I was thinking how he would live in a farmhouse like this!  （之后三问也该是间接引语，不是吗？）
Where was the plough? And where was the stable?
Where was the desk for writing poetry?           

In the wooden door? Or next to the window? （里 = 边吗 ？）
When did the mouse come out?           
Would it be in the shadow of the oil lamp reading the poetry?
Or going to the yard to see roses?

Where was the rose?
Could her red be seen in the moonlight?
How much of the moonlight awakened the louse?           
Did it bite? His back? Or his head?           
At that time, was he writing a poem?
Writing what?
Man's man for A a that
Or Tam O Shanter?

What aroused his tender feelings like water?
Was the battle of Sherramuir?
Or Ae Fond Kiss?           
How did he sing?           
The Auld Lang Syne?!

于2019年9月28日夜

李世纯

thinking yours is a typical Chinese style,

英文版

To Robert Burns

By Xuefeng Pan

I was thinking how he would live in a farmhouse like this!
Where was the plough? And where was the stable?
Where was the desk for writing poetry?    （ thinking yours is a typical Chinese style）
      

In the wooden door? Or next to the window?
When did the mouse come out?           
Would it be in the shadow of the oil lamp reading the poetry?
Or going to the yard to see roses?

Where was the rose?
Could her red be seen in the moonlight?
How much of the moonlight awakened the louse?           
Did it bite? His back? Or his head?           
At that time, was he writing a poem?
Writing what?
Man's man for A a that
Or Tam O Shanter?

What aroused his tender feelings like water?
Was the battle of Sherramuir?
Or Ae Fond Kiss?           
How did he sing?           
The Auld Lang Syne?!

于2019年9月28日夜

潘学峰

李世纯 发表于 2018-9-30 22:31
thinking yours is a typical Chinese style,

英文版

nice to see you again, and thanks for your comments

潘学峰

the things you pointed out in your last paste need to be explained/understood in a correlation of Burns's Poems that once mentioned those stuff. The whole stanza cannot be appreciated simply by the words appeared ...I  added the definite articles before the nouns with intention...

潘学峰

If you read Burns's Poem careful enough you will easily find out /understand that the title of the verse is not as appropriate as it supposed to be. It appears that only the first line and the second line in the first stanza mentioning something about a red rose, which is newly sprung in June, after these two lines there are nowhere in the whole poem once again mention the rose, so I think this might be a problem of the title also a problem of the verse...

李世纯

潘学峰 发表于 2018-9-30 22:44
If you read Burns's Poem careful enough you will easily find out /understand that the title of the v ...

一朵红红的玫瑰

潘学峰译

啊！我的爱情就象一朵红红的玫瑰
，初开在六月
啊！我的爱情就象一首甜美的小夜曲
，被悠扬地演奏
你多么象这美妙的艺术，我清丽的爱人
我已深陷爱河

我将爱你到海枯，我的爱人
爱你直到海枯哦，我的爱人
爱你直到石头也被太阳融化
我将爱你到沙子的生命也被融化，我的爱人
并且会好好侍奉你，我唯一的爱人                        （原作中可有此内容？）
好好侍奉你到永远
我将重返你身边，我的爱人
即使路途迢迢万里远

A Red, Red Rose

Robert Burns

O, my luve is like a red, red rose,
That's newly sprung in June.
O, my luve is like the melodie,
That's sweetly play'd in tune.
As fair art thou, my bonie lass,
So deep in luve am I,
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a' the seas gang dry.

Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi' the sun!
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o' life shall run.                           
And fare thee weel, my only luve,
And fare thee weel a while!                （目前，尚不知老师朋友对本两句的理解）


And I will come again, my luve,
Tho' it were ten thousand mile!


2014年9月18日整理
译后

本诗歌的作者是我第二故乡苏格兰抒情诗人，他的家乡位于格拉斯哥地区。这位诗人是我最早对英语诗歌产生兴趣的引子，因此彭斯给我的英文诗歌学习和写作起到了牵引者的作用。彭斯的诗歌大部分是古英语写成，没有比较深厚的英语功底就不好阅读和欣赏。不只欣赏他的诗歌，更敬佩其为人的钢质，他的诗歌成为了苏格兰国歌，他是一位情柔似水，志硬如钢的苏格兰农民！

李世纯

李世纯 发表于 2019-1-30 17:13
一朵红红的玫瑰

潘学峰译

李世纯