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《发现》第24期:哑者无言《疯人院的门锁坏了》

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楼主
发表于 2015-10-21 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
The Pig

Roald Dahl (1916-1990)


In England once there lived a big
And wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain.
He worked out sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn't read.
He knew what made an airplane fly,
He knew how engines worked and why.
He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend:
He simply couldn't puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.
What was the reason for his birth?
Why was he placed upon this earth?
His giant brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found.
Till suddenly one wondrous night.
All in a flash he saw the light.
He jumped up like a ballet dancer
And yelled, "By gum, I've got the answer!"
"They want my bacon slice by slice
"To sell at a tremendous price!
"They want my tender juicy chops
"To put in all the butcher's shops!
"They want my pork to make a roast
"And that's the part'll cost the most!
"They want my sausages in strings!
"They even want my chitterlings!
"The butcher's shop! The carving knife!
"That is the reason for my life!"
Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a pig great piece of mind.
Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,
A pail of pigswill in his hand,
And piggy with a mighty roar,
Bashes the farmer to the floor…
Now comes the rather grizzly bit
So let's not make too much of it,
Except that you must understand
That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,
He ate him up from head to toe,
Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet,
Because there was so much to eat,
And when he finished, Pig, of course,
Felt absolutely no remorse.
Slowly he scratched his brainy head
And with a little smile he said,
"I had a fairly powerful hunch
"That he might have me for his lunch.
"And so, because I feared the worst,
"I thought I'd better eat him first."



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沙发
发表于 2015-10-21 09:58 | 显示全部楼层


罗尔德·达尔
  
从前在英格兰居住

着一头巨大且聪明的猪。

每个人都清楚地知道

那猪崽有一个最强大脑。

他能用心算加减乘除,

没有哪本书他未曾阅读。

他知道飞机怎能上天,

他知道马达的原理如何转。

他无所不晓,但有一天

一个难题令他转不过弯:

他就是百思不得解

生命的意义究竟有哪些。

他的出生到底是为何?

他在这个地球上算是什么?

他的大脑袋转呀转。

天哪,竟想不出一个答案。

突然有一个奇妙的晚上,

咔嚓一闪他看到了灵光。

他像芭蕾舞演员手舞足蹈,

“老天爷,我想到了!”他大叫。

“他们要我的一片片咸肉,

然后高价去出售!

他们要我的鲜嫩肉排

在肉铺的货架上一字摆开!

他们要我的肋条作烧烤,

那部位的价格不得了!

他们要我的香肠一串串!

甚至连小肠也来做盘中餐!

杀猪的铺子!宰猪的刀!

我活着就是这说道!”

这样一想,肯定就让猪

心中大大地不舒服。

次日清晨,农夫布兰德来了,

一桶猪泔水在手上提着,

小猪崽子狂吼一气,

将农夫猛地掀翻在地,

下面的事有些惨不忍睹,

咱们也就别描述那么清楚,

不过你要知道的是

布兰德的确在被猪崽子吃,

从头到脚吃了个过瘾,

有些部位还细嚼慢慢品。

花了一钟头吃到了脚,

因为太多了实在吃不了,

吃完后,那当然,

猪绝对没有懊悔半点。

他慢慢挠着聪明的大脑壳,

带着一丝微笑开口说,

“我有一个强烈的预感,

他要把我宰了做午餐。

既如此,与其担心噩运降头上,

我认为还不如先下口为强。”
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板凳
发表于 2015-10-21 09:59 | 显示全部楼层
木草堂翻译
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地板
发表于 2015-10-22 14:45 | 显示全部楼层
    猫(1)
猫戴一顶大礼帽,
帽的高度足与它身子一样长。
帽子底部系一根红色绢带,
两端飘在脑后也与它身子一样长。

猫的头是黑的,身子是黑的,
猫的家里漆黑一团——人的瞳孔要收缩才能适应。
猫的左眼发出绿幽幽的光,右眼永远闭着,
大概祖母绿的猫眼石挖的是它这只眼珠,
也不知戴在哪位显贵的手指上了,
嗯,这是个问题。

猫保持随时捕蝴蝶的姿势,
(也是随时抓挖眼人的姿势,)
它家里有花花草草点缀,
客观地说这些是与大礼帽相匹配的,
配红绢带还差一点。
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