《你呼吸的空气》狄兰·托马斯

叶如钢

楚鳳兮 发表于 2016-11-11 23:09
那个作为一个超级小辈来翻译区实在是诚惶诚恐，毕竟英语水平低各种翻字典，请前辈多多指教啦。
以及狄兰老 ...

你翻译水准很好。 望继续努力！

inducive  这个词是有的。与动词 induce 对应。

Definition of inducive
archaic
:  tending to induce

叶如钢

翻译得很有诗意。
有的地方尚可改进。

叶如钢

楚鳳兮 发表于 2016-11-11 23:00
原文：
The air you breathe encroaches
The throat I know the neck

The air you breathe

The air you breathe encroaches
The throat is mine I know the neck
Wind is my enemy your hair shant stir
Under his strong impulsive kiss
The rainbow's foot is not more apt
To have the centaur lover
So steal her not O goat-legged wind
But leave but still adore
For if the gods would love
Theyd see with eyes like mine
But should not touch like I
Your sweet inducive thighs
And raven hair.