作者:查尔斯.布考斯基
& }. f& t& I# x- U: P翻译:莫笑愚# a0 v* L/ @9 G1 j! ]. D* @
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" t: j; T& v% t《自杀的孩子》! y) n, U+ c6 m
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我去了最糟的酒吧
" ~9 C; M3 x# N* z0 ~1 }指望在那儿
- u3 G6 G( N. c+ s: k) L1 e被谋杀。" \8 j H* B' o3 f
但我所能做的只是
! A+ j. n* h1 P; l3 g; [再次将自己6 q2 J; q( A% l% G; R
灌醉。7 n8 Z. S7 \, l) ~) x1 _6 S
更糟的是,酒友们甚至( x1 _6 `5 K, d" l, a R! m' y) I
开始, \9 K0 a2 \# \5 m& s* V. W
喜欢我了。
0 n$ J2 @6 T% z! d, j4 y" C我在那儿只想惹怒别人
) ~, m- K* ?" j# X) g9 a( @并被推入黑暗的 k6 w9 ]8 c3 A/ z' H+ w
深渊. u$ v* S$ w# Z6 `! a% t# _% r
结果是我赢得了) j5 |% d* Y( J, R
免费饮品
7 v& `9 |$ t" s- b4 Q恰逢某地
! i% A3 I) U8 d8 }$ n某个
) W8 t C& x$ \' v' \' y n; u) M龟儿子躺在医院的
8 \9 ^$ K, N7 Z' ~病床上,
1 k8 I) N+ X w/ P; K全身插满了
9 X; e+ J4 y7 q. B. l3 t; I管子( H% H+ }/ {5 Q' m( Y
为了活着,他拼命挣扎3 X' {) h8 l/ {: |7 m: Y; b
使出了吃奶的劲。2 Q/ |) G: A3 w# y {/ }' s/ F
无人会助我" C1 }$ y1 t# H; k3 V" d
死亡# \# q3 {! b8 x7 f
当我们畅饮+ h. ?. G, ]' u) d" i3 a/ U
达旦,
% J/ l7 G" G' X& C当第二天
* j# `7 E8 w' ^3 x1 s( Y4 c3 [等着我
4 p& l0 \2 e' S8 e" J用它的钢钳,* w# i+ t* I n0 L- I D& O
用它臭气熏天的4 e" X- y9 \8 ^% d8 X7 G6 D
匿名,; |8 C @% A4 i2 S0 I+ M0 u: f8 X8 C* X3 Q
它暧昧的" K3 T! @( d- }' p$ e
态度。8 Q4 Y, _6 t5 N
死亡并非总是
( k) f/ O, D2 `" j如期而至/ c9 z/ ^2 z' ^2 L) K, ]0 {
当你呼唤
% Z0 M/ B7 i0 z5 A6 ?它,
+ l& {3 _1 P5 F% D哪怕你从一个% S7 z' [' L1 x2 f1 J$ v
闪光的4 z" R2 R4 |- C( Q
城堡2 V# D U6 J( {, k$ [
或者从一艘远洋游轮
1 U D2 ]/ I6 |) [ @2 m或者从地球上
) {; [. `8 F/ u$ s+ g8 L: }最好(或最差)$ z" {% u5 t& w& l
的酒吧呼
$ v0 Y4 m9 x1 [/ @4 |唤它。) G: n+ w% k' B5 ~
如此无礼
% Z' v) Z% D' i& U8 E只会令众神 {8 v$ r8 K9 h( v
犹豫并% P& N/ e& V: c/ e7 q) [
推迟死期。" M) G+ g" h2 B4 V) ]/ N- W
问我:我已
: n6 N( q+ D, J. W* v, R, s72岁了。9 |+ p& j( P# S R6 X' M% s4 ]! y
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4 m9 ~: V8 e/ f$ _《致拿走我诗歌的荡妇》. B, b; D8 z. k/ g5 w
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有人说该让悔恨远离# R: r0 a, X8 v
诗歌,
. p* d- _$ Q3 u) f) N/ }8 t该抽象,这貌似有理,
* R+ s) P' U, u6 k但是耶稣啊;
`% G; I( L. t0 q/ g, \12首诗歌失踪了我连尸首也找不到而你还拿走了* V/ {! U" ]" ~5 q4 G/ d$ j
我的
4 T% K' _, Y. s油画,我最好的墨宝; 这令我窒息;
5 L: t4 m2 u/ v1 V1 K5 ^难道你也像她们一样要榨干我的皮?
+ [/ D5 T* n: l; n- M7 y为何不拿走我的现金?她们通常会从一个醉醺醺" j; R! l6 o; b" G. `3 `
昏睡在角落的醉鬼裤兜里拿走金钱. ^7 W; V3 b) I& y) o& _
下次就拿走我的左臂或者一张50元的钞票# U7 l0 v8 n0 e, a, k% |) m* _8 Z/ t5 [
但不要拿走我的诗歌:- M j; r( A! F+ C9 i% |
我并非莎士比亚4 b2 F/ n$ w. S. S) S& U
但有时候就是7 [6 G* k, `* S4 C
再也不会有诗歌,抽象或其它;
, y( H5 |+ W" ^6 \但钱和荡妇和醉鬼却总是遍地皆是9 r) c2 q8 Q! C2 A0 k& H
直至最后一枚炸弹,
1 Y! q, ?4 H( f; y3 D1 l+ n但正如上帝所说,2 d& _! {/ W. \( A' E* H
当他翘着二郎腿儿,' W% j/ B$ a4 u7 {
我知道我在何处造就了许多诗人 O2 }% V8 [0 p' _' U" Z; M8 e
而并非众多# y- t+ p' P9 x1 v- K) U$ o
诗歌。 q0 n( q& _/ E" o! m
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附英文原文:
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/ |$ `4 g; m' h+ I: x3 ]THE SUICIDE KID; J; Q# c t, b/ `
by Charles Bukowski
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, _- h5 \! U4 E: s dI went to the worst of bars
, f2 V/ P7 K t4 D; D8 V! fhoping to get
. L @6 O6 D0 Y) n! g' n2 ?killed.
5 {* M6 o3 ?9 }6 Q/ xbut all I could do was to, c# }3 X% j; q" s1 W
get drunk; _- S6 Y# l9 h: W
again.7 ~* r5 n, U7 R/ ^( S, B& A3 S `
worse, the bar patrons even
) W4 m- @1 ~- ` U+ s4 cended up& g* s: r' A+ ~$ f7 I
liking me.- M ?# d5 Y$ _, i
there I was trying to get$ A; R$ g* p! m4 E$ B' W# V; H/ w
pushed over the dark" P7 m2 a a, T( X* Q; g/ O
edge* {/ e/ q* }) J* \6 X
and I ended up with
8 y: n6 y* Y; ^- E" K8 U: yfree drinks" f0 |- ^9 ?8 D! Q9 | _
while somewhere else
/ _/ m+ h7 S$ A4 Msome poor
; H" U! Z& ~# |' F/ q. r/ E/ Y; [0 Dson-of-a-bitch was in a hospital" C2 N% `7 ]& G0 C$ J' C* o
bed,: ?6 @) r k* a4 \! w( X& ^+ r9 V S
tubes sticking out all over i6 Q4 w6 @5 g: y6 z
him
, T3 j6 K7 ~9 R9 W, v. Uas he fought like hell4 B( u5 v) J) \3 |( V% E
to live.. i2 H- F7 ?( M* d, w
nobody would help me
' `% c h8 ^4 `; R# ]4 \die as R6 Z/ k7 O) z7 `# A
the drinks kept
2 C$ P0 [% m* \. F8 T/ F+ ~( pcoming,
% P2 k4 G( D) R/ t: H; g! p% g3 |& E) `as the next day+ r5 ~# P' s$ @7 W+ C
waited for me
+ {' M: Z# J& Z% E( ~! L& U7 ?with its steel clamps,, s* d* q: b8 @- D9 Z) }* p0 e% }4 k
its stinking
6 e2 l% F/ Q: H; z# @- \ C. Xanonymity,& H- @ W3 g- d' i w. X
its incognisant
M; B+ a9 B# ^: g5 Q# K- _attitude. V+ o6 N8 E4 V- S. d, k
death doesn’t always4 z: e8 M$ w6 q: {0 S7 `$ r( [
come running
' }' {1 i6 Z7 _( D! U9 T7 Lwhen you call
a- ^7 r/ U: K' r( ^3 `/ rit,
G! c0 h& ]) unot even if you- Y! d+ u4 }" b e, z! k
call it0 h/ m5 R( D1 b( X
from a shining& v( S! p/ C, ?
castle
8 e, F5 A9 R. y! @or from an ocean liner7 s: F4 w$ B' B. X; w x
or from the best bar
3 A4 J5 p" r6 |5 e1 [on earth (or the8 X; f5 R. K4 ?$ U$ F3 N x' ?
worst).
6 |* ^3 V/ a2 gsuch impertinence
" n" B' n- _: G3 Oonly makes the gods
# Z1 d2 ?9 `7 h3 Chesitate and
, ]1 {) w8 [5 J- y, Rdelay.$ b# a, O) g! x& a3 M
ask me: I’m2 q0 H* r" l. S1 n8 ~- T
72.
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$ n! c! m& e( G U% B* l* r) q9 g% c. M4 x* [" c
TO THE WHORE WHO TOOK MY POEMS% ^4 x% p0 M# r7 c. U6 |: E. P
BY CHARLES BUKOWSKI8 @5 a4 ], e: [- h6 |6 l V
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% \+ v* I. H X* t! u, Ssome say we should keep personal remorse from the 0 X9 _! _, T+ y; x
poem," u& `; y! \/ h+ I
stay abstract, and there is some reason in this,
9 N% m5 L. p) `# d" b& G. ^but jezus;
" D1 A J! a) S0 u+ ~twelve poems gone and I don't keep carbons and you have5 E! C# H) j1 l3 p5 d0 @/ W
my ; W: U6 w0 O" T7 Y i. l
paintings too, my best ones; it's stifling;
; O% v; B m Z3 j( N* n9 Mare you trying to crush me out like the rest of them?
) l! b2 ^4 [! i7 ~# J' b/ Rwhy didn't you take my money? they usually do
" D) `# O% y$ V/ `9 qfrom the sleeping drunken pants sick in the corner.6 Q; E: w! N! ^# F
next time take my left arm or a fifty
: X8 v# u2 K* P( x9 X7 `* xbut not my poems:
) o' ~! |# U% r. oI'm not Shakespeare
5 w; C/ T" u, u0 J9 X7 kbut sometime simply
! `" @# h) w3 j( m; O; c5 Z7 xthere won't be any more, abstract or otherwise;4 }7 z6 I# |$ Y# N0 z3 {
there'll always be money and whores and drunkards% J: Z# i+ o9 o3 ?
down to the last bomb,3 q% A C P0 ^! t- x5 T
but as God said,
% |# Y0 |* r% x, P& u. _! G: Ycrossing his legs,
+ l' Y( V9 X. ?7 h) yI see where I have made plenty of poets' a% n# A, I2 _& L, M
but not so very much
0 \7 e8 b& H m N$ ]poetry.% t- [( l3 X% C( {
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