作者:查尔斯.布考斯基
& h, v1 Q: ~. ?- L7 {翻译:莫笑愚! P' Y" F' I' d
/ P# x+ e6 |9 c9 a# A1 T5 |
( v- T$ s7 `5 j
《自杀的孩子》9 ?% H9 ?" }- G3 z( ?) V
( n( u$ ^1 o, v* |8 R2 l! f
我去了最糟的酒吧
) f) O: K8 v2 g8 D6 O: H4 C指望在那儿3 S4 R6 n$ Y' ^# v; t% E
被谋杀。
& Y" ^3 Z/ i) F$ t; N但我所能做的只是) A) L1 _/ m& K0 R! I7 ]7 ]
再次将自己$ `4 V+ m7 O5 @. [) y
灌醉。
/ M( ^( s- c' M4 s- z1 p/ a% H8 A# O更糟的是,酒友们甚至
8 E. U+ g; N" R. s开始5 d4 @0 t3 d2 g- t# V. {/ |
喜欢我了。& G1 I6 f. v( m+ P% M4 a* G5 T
我在那儿只想惹怒别人
' R/ k. h1 q2 R- v2 O' P并被推入黑暗的: d& D- g+ E i) E, s
深渊
+ k7 c1 N _1 ^结果是我赢得了
: v" U/ S5 ~1 ?) n1 ]9 [/ v' l! Q8 Y免费饮品" b& w5 ~ r9 U
恰逢某地2 z* C8 A) B' @# n+ J* K
某个
& I& i4 f6 B: `2 }" h; o龟儿子躺在医院的7 t% j4 }6 h7 U: G
病床上,
# a s6 n1 ~4 E/ H' F1 G$ b5 U/ s全身插满了 R9 i) ^2 {* P# ^; m. w
管子7 l2 U! R/ r* K/ J4 J
为了活着,他拼命挣扎 B* O2 D1 ~, f# x
使出了吃奶的劲。
# n, }; Z( Y/ d. q) }! }1 m3 J6 F无人会助我
% {) h4 f) z5 T3 J; `2 [. P死亡
! d8 G+ D$ Y" c# `当我们畅饮
9 Q* `* }* w* O% w2 ~达旦,
: f8 Y: z! z9 j% C当第二天0 u1 |( ~0 o3 {: p" a
等着我+ b9 k }9 f3 G% @: {. ]2 T
用它的钢钳,
9 u/ n6 Q9 H+ I1 v$ ?# x用它臭气熏天的) S4 Y, T+ m7 y, ^# K0 w- w. A! t
匿名,2 O/ Y7 A7 s2 J; S5 t- [1 c
它暧昧的! q$ _. h$ r5 l1 R0 c
态度。5 Z9 k$ h8 [/ X! |
死亡并非总是1 S$ Z6 u7 v: l( A. j$ V* _- m
如期而至
2 r+ g- l* l+ A& B; s当你呼唤
$ r# @. i- O* j, R7 j它,
7 L7 F% r6 \: a* R9 Z哪怕你从一个
, W3 _/ l& Y2 P& r闪光的0 O* l x& l7 w8 l) l! N/ J
城堡* F6 C$ p! }$ w6 I0 d) x( W z
或者从一艘远洋游轮- n7 P5 K6 Z8 X8 e/ q/ p" W2 m6 W; a
或者从地球上
0 I* g' z" }5 b) u3 F" U最好(或最差)# R/ L' q7 `0 }8 x0 C5 }- H
的酒吧呼3 i* s$ b$ o4 @* g% a
唤它。# |1 k& V7 W* y. A' s
如此无礼* o+ O2 V) a# V3 v/ R
只会令众神
1 n9 m* m$ m$ l; }0 x4 X犹豫并
3 A# _* @. Y0 ]5 }6 \6 U推迟死期。* e" S, R3 K- f3 D; k6 j( L
问我:我已! T. J* |9 F& _. x# ]0 e( s
72岁了。 f/ D% @* Z. n# \+ \ k
; m1 p* _# _( P8 f. ?% t3 j
- j5 I/ ^6 v$ ~ y" q1 I8 \4 y2 i5 t% o& O$ `# o* W8 L0 b: y
《致拿走我诗歌的荡妇》+ M8 N* k& y* c/ a, N
8 G2 c! [$ r$ b1 h! G* r有人说该让悔恨远离
$ v8 P8 r! O3 N5 @1 X诗歌,
2 @! S5 N) X. ?. r$ Y0 u- L该抽象,这貌似有理,3 b4 l w0 C4 R5 R3 s3 B. ^
但是耶稣啊;8 B1 A4 Q) x. ]% K% L+ h) \
12首诗歌失踪了我连尸首也找不到而你还拿走了
5 H4 i( K* L: k7 i. n0 V F4 p' H7 H我的 k4 P8 |! F" z& A. w2 s
油画,我最好的墨宝; 这令我窒息;
8 d, g* \, l0 h5 v9 W难道你也像她们一样要榨干我的皮?8 }! `( O* W/ y7 w! K" o0 e$ _
为何不拿走我的现金?她们通常会从一个醉醺醺
* C( Y- X t. v昏睡在角落的醉鬼裤兜里拿走金钱
8 m' L# \- e, P, _$ l- k下次就拿走我的左臂或者一张50元的钞票; q% x P7 W! _0 I4 V( q
但不要拿走我的诗歌:
0 {0 O4 D1 }& d7 b+ x我并非莎士比亚0 {4 q. E* m3 O# r0 s
但有时候就是
7 n. h! U1 t' \1 |再也不会有诗歌,抽象或其它;5 |4 w2 z+ P1 ?# N- B
但钱和荡妇和醉鬼却总是遍地皆是
: Q c$ L' ~* ^# {9 B直至最后一枚炸弹,
, T& s" Y0 K4 _但正如上帝所说,6 w! L6 k( t d$ T# o L
当他翘着二郎腿儿,9 {7 s0 K& C! H* b- F
我知道我在何处造就了许多诗人5 W- l7 M/ @3 g) j( U
而并非众多- _: `/ |1 c7 m, g+ v) `
诗歌。
; q. S$ @. J |- w+ {8 F! P
! y/ N# z' H! H, j) j8 W! x" A5 | t$ x
5 B* ~8 [4 H& t! H1 o: `
附英文原文:. m& H" v7 |0 X( o$ z$ V
6 s0 t4 Z. n }1 y. cTHE SUICIDE KID
# y4 M: O; L7 V6 P% Q" X" |by Charles Bukowski
" O) O1 L T3 R/ O0 o5 c. h9 F; K, I* z7 S
) \( v( C! {! l( G4 L
I went to the worst of bars
) O1 W% o: V& D$ W3 s2 `' J) n5 v; xhoping to get1 P/ o% w; f# {& c& U
killed.' {: Q' W0 L0 x, Y9 r9 z* N
but all I could do was to; I6 a4 n [0 S+ B( ?
get drunk
$ m n- z6 r5 x0 M8 C6 ^again.
9 D/ W) C. Q( k8 D# ~7 iworse, the bar patrons even
Y# [* I9 G! E7 I6 L# d; E4 D$ J* r/ xended up" E( U: t+ a7 s8 h( }# y% x
liking me.# i. N, N; Q" Q, F
there I was trying to get% D0 o, Y0 P0 E' n
pushed over the dark6 L+ q( i3 I7 L2 S+ b
edge
% U0 N+ q9 E& o3 a, ^+ P4 Uand I ended up with: k' Y7 @, p S6 I( c0 W; ` H* ]) e
free drinks& u$ w8 u( y% y* t! x9 M
while somewhere else% S, n$ {! _5 Y' n$ @( @
some poor
2 u9 [0 ~- u- r x+ @( a+ b. u6 Sson-of-a-bitch was in a hospital
9 x6 O+ A/ u% u6 E8 f5 q6 D! Hbed,6 [, \* Q* L$ N# R: d) I# q8 c
tubes sticking out all over9 i1 G2 ~+ E" I% S: z
him, g, Q/ w. A5 l0 \/ f" T" f# J
as he fought like hell# A/ a/ N# }. K
to live.
9 m$ |4 P( A" M l; I d. O' H. Anobody would help me
' n, A+ k: Q" f* Ndie as" l+ v3 r) r3 P# g: `( V, G: {
the drinks kept" J/ d! ]8 l! J! O
coming,
( M7 e! J7 }1 ~. ^9 ]9 q' S# }3 Z; yas the next day
; e; v4 u: Y; g( Q2 u+ l7 ?waited for me
: h$ o( P* A8 c& f4 c: R& g; pwith its steel clamps,
$ P9 N9 `# j+ g( ~its stinking1 N* \) f8 Z) u1 g. c
anonymity,: s$ t1 I: T0 H, x1 @
its incognisant 9 F" G4 e3 ]! o; n1 H0 L. I6 H
attitude.# X2 p! y, u/ n
death doesn’t always) P% o/ |. l* L6 a% d% B
come running
+ q( }: P' a0 A+ t, ywhen you call7 n/ W. f+ u2 p. }5 v3 z
it,: d, D4 n7 q2 V! Q' p5 R" M
not even if you" d: d, q$ O/ o7 K" s
call it$ f7 n/ p ?! ]+ T
from a shining
3 |7 g" u) o& h+ ?: b: v/ Qcastle
* Z) a6 |# p* Cor from an ocean liner
1 i+ l# ?9 D% t9 J8 M v. @' x4 Eor from the best bar1 K6 h: \ G' u! m' p6 z
on earth (or the6 x5 x) ~7 O7 A
worst).
# P- ` a2 J* `+ c! z# i+ [$ Usuch impertinence
+ j! ^" N' @: {6 m0 xonly makes the gods l$ S6 Y5 g% K; J& g" J# N; o
hesitate and' k! J, E! V7 _7 `- W9 ~$ K$ D
delay.
- `+ o2 N' ]5 E4 X2 `% i5 |4 G Iask me: I’m* o. p2 J' H: P3 u5 k
72.
1 [2 p6 `* H9 T( @
0 D& R& o E0 Y: B/ z- [5 |" z4 W" P+ C! H r
_/ w. p7 y& U! b7 A; @9 P
TO THE WHORE WHO TOOK MY POEMS& F) m% T& o; W$ {* y! U
BY CHARLES BUKOWSKI0 y: O+ \7 o8 p" V ?
2 |1 k# r$ p6 w6 ^( d; {, b' V* c. ?$ ?
some say we should keep personal remorse from the + z9 p' d3 Q+ Y4 }0 ^
poem,6 Q5 ~% U+ y& S8 A& s+ ^/ k
stay abstract, and there is some reason in this,# z+ n8 e+ ^7 ~7 r" C
but jezus;
6 \- V' s' A$ @9 s$ \' {9 _twelve poems gone and I don't keep carbons and you have( \1 A) g6 E4 \/ A( l- ?: S
my * Q& j, x* t {' f' L
paintings too, my best ones; it's stifling;
7 E1 }4 v, ^3 B* C. i0 D- mare you trying to crush me out like the rest of them?
9 V' |2 G) { m" l ]why didn't you take my money? they usually do
6 C# o2 w0 ?6 Y% B6 e0 ]% lfrom the sleeping drunken pants sick in the corner.
; J1 Q8 p3 ]2 a2 v: ]next time take my left arm or a fifty
4 C/ A6 t& z( Z( B2 ?4 V9 rbut not my poems:6 x# m" }5 |; i; A* O
I'm not Shakespeare
" G6 U5 n7 S6 I& a- T% Q! e+ q* [but sometime simply2 x+ v1 _) j; V" u8 V
there won't be any more, abstract or otherwise;
; t; v6 K( s" P1 i6 ]3 |* ithere'll always be money and whores and drunkards
9 e% I* P1 @4 ^- }4 `- H- jdown to the last bomb,9 }6 e- ?$ Y, C( H' \5 x
but as God said,* {/ b0 q7 E7 Z8 ` [
crossing his legs,: @; r0 Q" V4 M
I see where I have made plenty of poets
: w% l2 B- T! x. i' T: M' X: c+ abut not so very much, P4 O7 P8 L% A3 [4 G
poetry.) ~( d% h" H% | X) W2 w
+ S6 A% c. u ]6 K9 X& S/ C% q+ V2 F, j6 \# w
" o" @1 g' n* s# c# e
* { M( N* S9 Y |