作者:查尔斯.布考斯基
( D% k# @- ?6 O. m) X翻译:莫笑愚
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5 A% z( ~" k; _) q A1 U《自杀的孩子》' ~/ v* { `1 x( o2 T+ {7 Y0 l
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我去了最糟的酒吧! \( i. Z$ y$ ~# z; B
指望在那儿) Y1 q% l7 N! o2 U! A- m) ` ]
被谋杀。, ?$ E7 t; ^0 R+ q1 G6 |6 p) k1 Z
但我所能做的只是. {/ ?* x. ^: P% P( w0 ?
再次将自己
8 ?. E9 Z! \; {8 g3 r, a灌醉。
# l$ ] K; P( h( F6 I8 U2 W更糟的是,酒友们甚至
* s' ^( Z+ {. o- c开始
, W8 \8 _8 e$ T( z! [2 p. b喜欢我了。
5 K! |, }: @8 L0 e9 T6 V我在那儿只想惹怒别人
) Y1 w9 i6 w4 A* M" y- ?5 w+ B并被推入黑暗的/ x" ~9 i3 O; q& ^# W. s
深渊9 L, G" K/ o- |; a* h" p
结果是我赢得了
8 A3 v3 L) Z, ?. f1 _免费饮品
+ S8 P! Z- Y9 |& F1 G; b恰逢某地- f3 I) K8 U' B) Z2 ]" D
某个# C, {6 s5 h3 p# u, E/ y
龟儿子躺在医院的
$ M5 x( v, A( E1 v6 i病床上,6 W: `% X F' W7 u( L% j
全身插满了
8 p% w/ Z3 u! u, |2 G) C7 i$ R/ b管子
. ^: `3 l" x4 j) [/ n [4 B0 n为了活着,他拼命挣扎 g4 \7 N) g% ?$ O( a) R
使出了吃奶的劲。, ^3 r) V! x; S1 x1 O- b) m4 e
无人会助我
) H# D7 H6 J- A死亡
, C6 O" v! D$ i' c9 f: X1 X当我们畅饮
; N- m4 x2 r+ U, L/ R达旦,
) j& r- q! a1 I& }1 Z; e当第二天
: Z% k# n; I4 W- R* ?% h等着我
% F# k7 P4 `) M' w! q用它的钢钳,! f+ K& e+ Q" m3 S- ?8 g6 h
用它臭气熏天的, |$ x' ~& U- y$ f9 g: a; b
匿名,
4 t6 F( s0 y" j0 v$ Y& C9 ~6 H它暧昧的
& Y9 T, K0 j% U- P' A态度。* K7 K7 }% S8 u2 `3 S5 O3 L! l
死亡并非总是
- M# p H6 M4 i* a如期而至
# T( O d B& U, I2 ?当你呼唤
# e# P( E; Z) B5 _+ P/ q0 I它,7 ^( q, l5 S B7 R1 X- J8 Y
哪怕你从一个
$ T, h1 @" k, D闪光的% e: d3 n3 k4 M4 X
城堡
( l3 V. k( R! ?+ Z; E8 u* T X或者从一艘远洋游轮
4 c2 z7 m! Z8 d3 |4 p* t( ]4 m或者从地球上
' _1 Z2 w" ~1 B% y+ k$ f1 b w; K" n最好(或最差)
( P# i- X- s9 Y0 k! i# `的酒吧呼8 H* ? i: ^& y# Z+ j( r1 G& o
唤它。' W6 e6 Z! W6 A
如此无礼
. z% C( p8 {& L# M7 P只会令众神
& c, M: |& O( Q犹豫并# Z' v0 k' R4 ^: v
推迟死期。
, l6 A1 _" d" z9 a0 O9 G, U; `问我:我已
/ J6 f! D' m2 e1 ]1 p; z1 `% r3 H* ?72岁了。6 s8 f- ]: k8 d; `
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8 }7 z% c5 k3 `5 @6 _( @2 P( s《致拿走我诗歌的荡妇》
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: d h+ J5 a6 X6 I7 H: c- u有人说该让悔恨远离
% N; o6 } Y' N+ e/ O& X诗歌,, |% d; [) x& c7 ]+ {- n# g/ i
该抽象,这貌似有理,) |* Z2 U* Y* }5 i& X# Q* \
但是耶稣啊;
0 ~3 z3 c+ o4 B! \12首诗歌失踪了我连尸首也找不到而你还拿走了
- G/ C6 d3 m/ y9 Y1 V我的+ o5 d$ T. R) H1 S1 b
油画,我最好的墨宝; 这令我窒息;! I" ~. _ S" z! b5 X4 x" ~( R
难道你也像她们一样要榨干我的皮?9 f8 p2 z8 Z% F% W' u1 y( ]
为何不拿走我的现金?她们通常会从一个醉醺醺" D) d# w: Z8 M5 j# [0 s0 H, Q
昏睡在角落的醉鬼裤兜里拿走金钱
0 b2 k) H) H8 d% @+ A% n下次就拿走我的左臂或者一张50元的钞票" Y1 X: I: S# H" A: p
但不要拿走我的诗歌:/ C$ o }: u, _3 u* \( H
我并非莎士比亚7 {. X* q9 t0 t( J+ [
但有时候就是9 S; D' X- G0 k
再也不会有诗歌,抽象或其它;8 ~! U) i+ v, ?5 x) W: h& g6 O5 z$ c
但钱和荡妇和醉鬼却总是遍地皆是% V8 L, j' c4 |! u$ m" O4 ]: x
直至最后一枚炸弹,6 g7 ^+ S3 Z% H' W. T# F- V
但正如上帝所说,8 e0 n5 P9 j) Q( R& G
当他翘着二郎腿儿,
8 N- O( R+ G9 @/ M" j$ _, S我知道我在何处造就了许多诗人
: C$ f* W- Z$ O而并非众多
" D1 b& ~' \, a: V7 ?诗歌。! Z$ }) r% h: B* X; l2 E
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附英文原文:
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3 C7 }2 i" c4 m. D1 H) x4 y7 F! ]THE SUICIDE KID
# j, ~; k8 P0 g+ T, aby Charles Bukowski
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: J; n K- k' P$ p9 ^/ `# O5 f; y: YI went to the worst of bars
( V$ B; F& o' O) {4 khoping to get7 O% O6 h! }9 q- _3 e" G
killed.
" U5 I F7 D" C, hbut all I could do was to
) y# p; |8 ^, z8 Fget drunk1 ?/ J) \" F0 g! Z* W$ d2 l! Y4 Y
again.
$ P% q$ {) _0 `7 s2 D4 w, Bworse, the bar patrons even9 b6 H" f% Q5 K$ u
ended up: M! ? r2 X$ C A D
liking me.5 c1 k5 d& ?: N6 z, n1 M9 y1 J- P3 y
there I was trying to get
2 o2 v; g4 i; q8 i1 H: W0 Lpushed over the dark
0 c4 c: ?, D- I" N# a( _edge
6 b5 D% @; Y4 X/ B, R; s/ Yand I ended up with; s! w5 q5 E/ \. {& P) i
free drinks1 P) w" P: r; B( h( j
while somewhere else
1 y, G8 O3 ~5 x( p. esome poor
7 N" v$ w( f( L* o: p tson-of-a-bitch was in a hospital" ]5 v+ e% V# @6 z) g# R
bed,. B$ }8 `: c( x# C( _
tubes sticking out all over
! @; c& D' m! |* f1 f7 J1 J* @him
' F. v4 a7 H x. I, l1 Nas he fought like hell) O4 ~& ~. H: V! v8 Q9 Z" p
to live.
) z' h& \6 D: C. T6 knobody would help me
* r" J6 C6 U, n' |. {' a% W$ `die as
7 ~# m2 r( p+ {0 m) {) kthe drinks kept4 t R8 {) u9 N2 M) \! L, R& X. r
coming,: N% o% q) M W9 Y! x
as the next day
f% D7 Y" h1 ?+ r* r4 `' Fwaited for me
$ z0 G' t+ D3 m& swith its steel clamps, F% ?; }, o& e' E5 c4 S, y
its stinking) R/ y: y3 @7 H! p3 {2 X& a1 l* H- _
anonymity, |/ w8 n5 R/ ?" O+ `: X9 z2 {: m
its incognisant " F E ]" C, v4 s" Z( i
attitude.
$ p; U9 }. S, O0 o0 ~7 Rdeath doesn’t always
U. w9 T) z3 S$ q3 j+ N' ^- ocome running
, A! w7 d5 D, q2 e( zwhen you call+ M K5 t; S) S
it,
. g+ \9 F6 W6 a1 e/ P+ b: }# lnot even if you/ f- [; X- H5 W
call it! b6 r4 R4 T. |2 c
from a shining$ ~3 E" Q: `# t! P% o
castle
2 b; u# a! G; tor from an ocean liner
0 \5 M6 W( B- ]0 Jor from the best bar
# i6 m( e& V7 f9 ~! Pon earth (or the1 k/ x7 w' \; F' b+ k6 U
worst).. ~. }1 S c" Q
such impertinence
' `* r: w( G: b/ Monly makes the gods5 t: }2 h% U+ [: q& f. A, [
hesitate and& e) Z G# |$ k9 Z
delay.
0 |" ~+ r1 r& s+ {# }ask me: I’m- d1 d$ B+ B% c
72.
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^( f. [! [& s( |! ?$ @/ O! T" rTO THE WHORE WHO TOOK MY POEMS3 s; r# A7 s0 \
BY CHARLES BUKOWSKI
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I7 [1 C) `" g. F7 ?+ fsome say we should keep personal remorse from the
/ j% R' a* v8 J; s3 t- N$ O& Ppoem,
/ Z5 m( k4 U9 w; V6 istay abstract, and there is some reason in this,
" L. B: Z) V3 H: d9 `but jezus;
% g) n7 h4 T' D* Vtwelve poems gone and I don't keep carbons and you have
7 K E6 W5 C- v2 h/ E6 E6 _4 G tmy ' g( _7 B9 E: Y7 _" G
paintings too, my best ones; it's stifling;3 U, A! o. S3 W* J( r5 v+ q
are you trying to crush me out like the rest of them?
" N [- n6 u4 A6 h9 z6 V! |why didn't you take my money? they usually do0 B7 G1 z# k9 [4 `
from the sleeping drunken pants sick in the corner.
6 P; Q6 }; Z5 {7 @5 c3 s5 F6 nnext time take my left arm or a fifty. `( w' k* h4 {; }( j. _; ^6 e
but not my poems:
: W+ t" ~9 b: b! |I'm not Shakespeare
2 g. l# f1 @6 p( Hbut sometime simply4 V( Y- l' Z$ w1 g: Q: ?
there won't be any more, abstract or otherwise;
. P$ a- I$ k' p$ Ithere'll always be money and whores and drunkards
" Z! G: O; x: xdown to the last bomb,. g" M, N8 R1 ]
but as God said,
+ `! F& S* S2 V* A+ G. ucrossing his legs,
+ ?' O' ~' t0 ~% y4 m" i/ NI see where I have made plenty of poets# S. U9 U$ |+ g
but not so very much' {' R- R3 H9 v/ I$ B
poetry." v& s9 f; c; Z T6 d4 W" e
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