作者:查尔斯.布考斯基
% l4 V& h7 J2 H$ n9 l1 _2 d翻译:莫笑愚
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《自杀的孩子》
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我去了最糟的酒吧
8 ]" v u8 n5 a1 O( r! A指望在那儿% p9 v' @/ I& g; ^6 c! l" y
被谋杀。
! B, u" m5 l( z" ?9 J但我所能做的只是3 n$ i/ e4 S f% u( b+ X
再次将自己
/ V( I5 H, E9 e8 `灌醉。
3 [' m; u! y- z' p更糟的是,酒友们甚至/ U. @( V+ g0 L
开始7 u2 C' z, z- V
喜欢我了。( _* s2 f/ `( u& `( C2 B8 O* M$ k/ T
我在那儿只想惹怒别人/ I1 N6 \% p" Q% Q, `+ v
并被推入黑暗的
; y1 C7 k4 Y% v( O+ a深渊2 i) }7 L+ s! L& w
结果是我赢得了/ k) s7 Q8 v4 K* k+ N0 _- o6 n
免费饮品# j. J) I- L7 }2 c% Q, ?' w2 T8 t
恰逢某地
2 Z% c( ^. p/ w( U) ]某个2 X1 u- Y' h9 \ h. \- L- N
龟儿子躺在医院的
4 q2 _+ c7 G* l* }# o病床上,( u' G3 ^" f- B+ q% G8 R
全身插满了
) k) |4 j; @3 R管子
# j) v! O8 d* o. m为了活着,他拼命挣扎
* V% R+ \7 K" ?7 R* ?使出了吃奶的劲。
% G% d( n# P6 H. R2 g1 v8 N9 O无人会助我
# [/ g8 M! D& `% K; C$ W) ^死亡& o* ]% j4 Y/ f) h- @; @
当我们畅饮
) M/ o5 T5 A; q6 k# t5 U- C达旦,/ j0 H$ e( u% K4 Q
当第二天
; j# z: t0 v! [; ?$ d等着我
3 b) f6 A+ N1 Z2 N7 ]" x用它的钢钳," F5 o8 ]9 Q7 R% d6 d1 {0 y
用它臭气熏天的
+ O0 ]* _) d* K, z匿名,
I, {: W! `& P) X3 C它暧昧的
8 `' Z: D: n! L, h9 K; W态度。
* s& [$ ~% i% b _) ?0 b$ J. g) f% ^死亡并非总是
9 p( ~/ _6 h) h9 j9 Z如期而至, ^; p1 u# m3 ]( F
当你呼唤
. R7 D: {+ j0 W2 s2 Y- R6 Q它,
0 [3 m/ Q+ F+ a( i6 F: U哪怕你从一个
; @& a- n" T$ ^0 K$ w5 U4 j5 P3 B闪光的! M% Z$ h# }: Q! g/ B- f$ D& O) P
城堡$ I8 a9 H! U) L3 Q# }* k
或者从一艘远洋游轮
6 w% h$ b4 c& J或者从地球上
0 A/ _5 G0 m+ s1 D; N g# E3 d最好(或最差)0 X7 o$ o6 n$ b C$ V
的酒吧呼) J1 ? J: d7 @6 s7 F0 d/ R' \
唤它。
9 K( g) j z4 Y* \7 S; T$ `4 i: O如此无礼$ q2 }3 ?$ o( n6 ~; D
只会令众神$ w( Q- o: M: z/ S: |- c
犹豫并' N( K1 ~1 T% C+ y& }: q
推迟死期。0 N) @0 _1 {8 R% n: ]. p
问我:我已
3 F7 E0 ^3 g- {$ F$ r3 I1 p72岁了。, |# W9 M4 e, L- n
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《致拿走我诗歌的荡妇》; x/ t; e0 y3 w* f9 y
# |' w7 S% P) o+ x9 N: i有人说该让悔恨远离0 }2 z+ B/ W& T4 N* S, l+ \) |8 N
诗歌,* ]% n: s. C- r% w- z2 F# V
该抽象,这貌似有理,
( E% P4 r% y8 g% x! L9 P0 F但是耶稣啊;
e1 a: C; W. r: |. a12首诗歌失踪了我连尸首也找不到而你还拿走了5 ]5 g& h3 a0 p* C( P+ g% U
我的
1 l5 z8 a, r0 X( ?- A$ ^油画,我最好的墨宝; 这令我窒息;5 X! |, i( x4 i2 V
难道你也像她们一样要榨干我的皮?
9 p4 p2 b4 f U" b; q, l为何不拿走我的现金?她们通常会从一个醉醺醺
0 e2 N1 G1 ]# z6 R) k5 c昏睡在角落的醉鬼裤兜里拿走金钱 M$ ^# S2 |9 u
下次就拿走我的左臂或者一张50元的钞票
$ a6 w0 c. P, B2 m* ]但不要拿走我的诗歌:
8 Q# q& z' y L! q+ a% e4 P我并非莎士比亚
: g m: V7 W' t; ?2 l% n8 m* R" M4 R% J但有时候就是
0 [1 Z1 F% _* O0 c1 x) i5 F再也不会有诗歌,抽象或其它;) h1 g/ T E) x, O
但钱和荡妇和醉鬼却总是遍地皆是! q: Y$ u3 z% S7 F/ V
直至最后一枚炸弹,
, s B I5 y# L# K1 F但正如上帝所说,8 B8 Q3 [9 i# E
当他翘着二郎腿儿,1 f( {/ A% E3 i& `" I* F+ w5 Z; B
我知道我在何处造就了许多诗人
2 a+ r K8 Z" S3 P而并非众多6 v) }2 w7 x" o1 h$ w h
诗歌。$ b7 C6 U( R/ M2 }: ?4 Z
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, m% }9 o, \7 Z9 y4 ~/ k附英文原文:* h2 c0 K* i+ D- P- A
V3 l$ f& d+ @0 d
THE SUICIDE KID
. T( F0 a8 K% S! d4 Hby Charles Bukowski& i* H/ _, j* y" c2 v7 `3 o+ s
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I went to the worst of bars' U2 I: ^7 A- }, F& X. ~5 `( Y8 G
hoping to get
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but all I could do was to
' z" I; X/ g/ ]* o1 t6 cget drunk
# w4 g; i0 [( R6 A5 U0 P7 Nagain.
2 `" M# F5 B" U4 ~, ^) ^worse, the bar patrons even( E) n. q* }. `% l* Z
ended up, w+ d+ V- \) [- O. c6 ?' N3 L
liking me.
5 o+ x, P$ w- v& c" [0 b; Athere I was trying to get
! ?8 H: j* L% m Y0 c; Kpushed over the dark1 `7 C+ N- |4 d8 `- r: {
edge
- V t9 c0 F+ u+ ~4 a% C& Yand I ended up with5 a% T( V$ w) V2 w% J3 K
free drinks
, F- f! m* N0 Nwhile somewhere else
5 X$ v6 b0 P5 @" o+ Fsome poor) _$ c$ E. B* P X& h
son-of-a-bitch was in a hospital* P3 U' ~' D: M. ]! P( Z
bed,& S8 |# B* E; ^" V6 ^
tubes sticking out all over0 c& H8 q) R& A2 a( r0 G, j
him. ?3 z: |( u+ C# Z* ^5 V
as he fought like hell0 S. q c9 s, r
to live.
5 k" }: e6 g/ o9 v k2 a9 @nobody would help me
2 K% w) G Z" Q9 Tdie as
/ p+ f8 S% U& ~6 R. Zthe drinks kept3 J$ i! v6 v. A2 X5 I4 |
coming,
# u8 o& m5 W1 W) I9 Z0 @8 {: `as the next day/ L: T2 X) J* u$ u
waited for me
8 H$ i+ x) n: ]0 k/ D' Qwith its steel clamps,; ~2 a6 ~- O/ z w( s0 ]+ n, \
its stinking+ s! {' d8 j* I N) r
anonymity,
- W4 G, w f/ E. X8 Kits incognisant
2 W! b! _% ]( v( z& zattitude. E3 e! n8 ]4 j, \% q D
death doesn’t always
2 P& M5 g: v! H' Ycome running
! a: w3 g! F6 o N8 rwhen you call8 {0 w3 k ?$ S( H; h
it,; o1 W- r' t ?+ ^# _4 @
not even if you4 F2 x0 V) z% v$ P) ?+ U( x( ]/ S
call it
" R( e y$ r L: L1 Tfrom a shining
" U6 E& y0 D. W/ X0 \, u9 A1 E" A, hcastle
; |$ v! j# N6 p2 ?7 qor from an ocean liner
3 K# s1 P; y/ C" T5 gor from the best bar% N, h9 d1 d% w; v; \0 k
on earth (or the* v% Y! Y Q5 R }; q; F
worst).4 d% X' l m3 a- s: q$ Q
such impertinence
0 D' j- ]1 u! m4 P& eonly makes the gods
! l5 i W6 ^( X2 ~& A$ Y/ b7 a3 C0 ohesitate and$ o" d% p/ r) _: b3 z0 ]9 [9 X% {% y
delay.
* J4 `# a. z* Y$ ?6 h1 b5 Hask me: I’m
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! O0 {- W0 h! R6 l tTO THE WHORE WHO TOOK MY POEMS+ u6 `! X$ K9 a/ m' s% q o/ n5 z- I" r$ K
BY CHARLES BUKOWSKI3 X/ j! r, V5 _7 d* g" {" \+ `. W
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6 R2 J2 m9 D% w3 F) L. P; Q7 N/ O$ D3 I7 {some say we should keep personal remorse from the
# A! Q) a, [+ a* Lpoem,
, n- e X3 X$ istay abstract, and there is some reason in this,
- ?6 w2 M& }) bbut jezus;
! B( }, h `- m; v( k0 |6 H2 utwelve poems gone and I don't keep carbons and you have' F. E% O9 g# P' Z7 G
my
3 J8 z* J& i" X: S! Tpaintings too, my best ones; it's stifling;
; O+ n2 V! j2 q0 vare you trying to crush me out like the rest of them?1 }, n+ n% A: C [
why didn't you take my money? they usually do
6 _$ ~7 K: [* e5 S5 w7 Afrom the sleeping drunken pants sick in the corner.. D! [$ t2 X3 V
next time take my left arm or a fifty
' Z0 t9 K: J7 n6 U+ y/ bbut not my poems:
0 u; }$ j3 i' C w+ ?' XI'm not Shakespeare
9 q9 v" U6 v* X0 z" V' d$ Wbut sometime simply
6 H& n$ M5 [! x/ A, l9 ~. X _there won't be any more, abstract or otherwise;. Y8 r& k. g2 _, y
there'll always be money and whores and drunkards
* F) g- ?4 C' l8 u U+ K Qdown to the last bomb,/ P8 @ n+ }! t, V: [+ `% z
but as God said,& G5 S2 a* i) E9 r K
crossing his legs,
" C; m" C4 ~6 n% `6 }' sI see where I have made plenty of poets
# ?2 L2 c/ [& s; R# }but not so very much; O9 d$ A6 J( C6 z
poetry.
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