作者:查尔斯.布考斯基
6 \& B* w9 ]* k翻译:莫笑愚" T* P! W0 L9 t M2 g
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《自杀的孩子》
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我去了最糟的酒吧
$ A/ O: o6 P, Z+ l0 I0 [ w# M, A4 p指望在那儿
& _$ P# W5 @& \7 y被谋杀。2 h" x/ O) I. j) U
但我所能做的只是' o" Z3 g3 l! H! g9 R
再次将自己
3 d" O* L* D5 t& r灌醉。
7 V1 L+ V) s/ S5 a4 z2 M更糟的是,酒友们甚至2 v& y. ~+ {) @0 J1 x4 O
开始
0 L2 H# ?; {5 ~* }3 z1 Y喜欢我了。$ `, d$ b1 L% O: K; O
我在那儿只想惹怒别人- i9 g8 w2 x4 \% {6 m1 z) c
并被推入黑暗的
! _4 d N. w6 U5 D; Y深渊
& |+ E, C7 |- T0 e: i3 l结果是我赢得了
" B- ?7 j- b/ u' t2 W; s免费饮品9 s' @2 V' {* C0 {$ g6 g1 q
恰逢某地
! m0 W% M! N8 i; D! H' k某个$ _4 O! q W$ P/ D) ~, W* F
龟儿子躺在医院的
- b) V9 |& m7 F病床上,1 v+ p+ s0 S& b" x% l3 T) C, ~
全身插满了
+ W6 c. F4 ~4 @$ D* n管子" k$ s; h( P# t* n7 h3 B/ B* S
为了活着,他拼命挣扎
6 V" c) u. ^# B; U. e8 |使出了吃奶的劲。/ x, g1 i! _; K& n$ `2 V8 s+ o
无人会助我0 u0 `6 G% I' B
死亡3 n( s1 U$ u# ~! d
当我们畅饮
$ n2 Y3 ~9 a9 v8 Q达旦, g2 w7 c% c, v9 _# _# M! Z& d6 I$ f
当第二天: ^: T! |/ K7 ^4 U: k' x
等着我% u& N3 F* T2 f" j6 e7 Q: K
用它的钢钳,& I6 O# h/ w/ T9 _
用它臭气熏天的( p/ @# u9 K& G2 M# U' h! n
匿名,: `9 Q+ ]' k( ?% V* Z5 b5 n
它暧昧的9 w: W3 d, S0 I) ~8 X& z
态度。
% G+ C0 E4 F3 D; N' v) }1 `死亡并非总是" t% q% ?, m- D5 L- O" \5 v
如期而至% n. \' s3 k+ y2 _
当你呼唤
+ e- U# j; T# c它,
5 I2 Q5 Z- i- M/ H9 L' }! |0 w2 a哪怕你从一个
/ ^7 ^$ V, g6 N! ?- M. h/ ?- }闪光的8 Q0 y% A% ]9 @
城堡
{) q: J0 _! V/ j8 E/ L5 d) a或者从一艘远洋游轮
2 x) q9 ]1 \4 T或者从地球上
+ x0 k" O8 s% t2 l最好(或最差)9 M9 t1 {* A3 \/ q- r* c6 T
的酒吧呼
* e) G' t! i2 t唤它。+ f9 s0 v8 Y8 J( O% E
如此无礼
! i+ u F, {# y' m b5 i8 x只会令众神
5 i- l( A' U, O犹豫并
# Z C- s, P X( r推迟死期。
# c* t, S5 I$ g1 W$ T' F J问我:我已5 k5 m$ r8 S: u6 _, K5 u1 q
72岁了。
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* M" d# j; N% d [: U《致拿走我诗歌的荡妇》
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有人说该让悔恨远离
+ \- N2 X# t% k' _- F0 x' k诗歌,4 @: w' R8 y& s. i
该抽象,这貌似有理,$ a3 h+ {( X4 }6 y- f% [1 K
但是耶稣啊;
; v3 V3 m$ z4 m. j; g' a$ M* Q% _12首诗歌失踪了我连尸首也找不到而你还拿走了
% x1 b5 B- f2 h' d. Y$ l; D4 T2 @$ K我的, g ^' \7 i1 F: b7 w, O: g* p& y
油画,我最好的墨宝; 这令我窒息;
# h7 M) ]. A# g" N/ E' {4 h难道你也像她们一样要榨干我的皮?; C% I: C) F" T8 N2 S. n
为何不拿走我的现金?她们通常会从一个醉醺醺
; f4 _" [/ O6 t昏睡在角落的醉鬼裤兜里拿走金钱6 Q0 t# r7 \0 x, S1 j* [- a
下次就拿走我的左臂或者一张50元的钞票
0 o6 @% q7 |& `+ Y: H$ w! [但不要拿走我的诗歌:
6 m- ?4 a5 }% X `9 m& |0 [我并非莎士比亚
2 ]7 q: ^+ ~& P2 a( c4 N但有时候就是
( h) h0 E' q0 z* w3 i2 n2 m( U. `再也不会有诗歌,抽象或其它;+ B* G& @$ h3 E. W1 v" ~7 y
但钱和荡妇和醉鬼却总是遍地皆是9 } y* i% B" e9 q x1 @4 w" `, k
直至最后一枚炸弹,
! j9 B& j# h7 r但正如上帝所说,
7 C. N- |: K [/ Y7 b0 W3 X当他翘着二郎腿儿,
8 C& k6 I# i8 ]* Q$ z6 z我知道我在何处造就了许多诗人
; w* \! F/ f% g0 |) j而并非众多& w5 O6 h9 K2 A# |3 F5 U
诗歌。
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附英文原文:7 Z X" F- b8 c# L0 A
9 `- J; D5 I4 F0 y" g; Q" T& JTHE SUICIDE KID
( B3 h% V% ]2 F7 H$ yby Charles Bukowski. q& p8 ?! O; b# T0 P/ H
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4 I4 U" F2 @8 \, d; F0 [I went to the worst of bars
2 w E- I8 N. o5 }* h' h- |( A# fhoping to get
" W* x: `( t# c2 l8 ~/ M9 }! Q tkilled.
0 V. v( L8 ~$ {$ T. x [but all I could do was to; s, X9 A6 f8 E5 N2 ] e& K" r
get drunk8 q" S' V8 A7 B- ~& {
again.
* S1 v. K' q# x/ r6 N7 g1 Qworse, the bar patrons even
% b* ^3 d: \) l2 J* j( \ended up' {( K8 S- o |
liking me.
0 z+ L: m; ^- `( \ I$ }" E4 P; K6 othere I was trying to get
" D. o q& r& z1 U) @: spushed over the dark* S" f* d$ N& L+ a: L/ x
edge9 I6 N" x( P) o- I2 l
and I ended up with
# ~/ b- g8 Y* n6 I1 qfree drinks
$ h8 t6 V9 c9 N' p: k7 z E* Nwhile somewhere else
* s7 h7 x# n$ U- j U. ~some poor
, b! k! i ?* @; V) ?0 sson-of-a-bitch was in a hospital
8 @$ q1 \% b7 R. Bbed,
4 A1 S5 ]8 Y# m& S/ d8 ]tubes sticking out all over% Q" ?: R3 N( Z4 ]/ r
him# n0 t7 ]0 N; l. d% j: a
as he fought like hell
" o* t$ H$ Y! v4 mto live.' ~* U/ P% p; I C
nobody would help me4 K4 w: q0 r2 L6 j" L( ]* J1 I
die as
( w4 G( l, ^2 Pthe drinks kept
2 y( z: A8 T* h5 A/ }! F; C6 scoming,' j8 z3 s0 j: \% G
as the next day# g( z, }0 j6 S8 u
waited for me
' `0 W6 T, t5 l( r+ Owith its steel clamps,
- T+ c( o# k1 X8 }( ?its stinking/ [; @* p4 |9 g U4 S
anonymity,
& T6 A! w: P7 m5 V0 k$ }its incognisant
( h2 a5 W; O1 ~9 @2 M% oattitude.
" ]- a. J* k% ?7 J) ~* Z8 {death doesn’t always
4 \. \4 R: N% i: a: J" ^2 ocome running
) k: K1 ?( L) {when you call
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not even if you B" [8 Z6 p- W! C* y& u. [
call it; K7 z+ H% m: A" L9 y' ^& t
from a shining
4 {! _. t# O+ ~5 qcastle! K% y1 Q; c$ X. {
or from an ocean liner* l9 U% \7 w! I, S) c! h
or from the best bar( \: l2 J$ H, ]4 A* W; b
on earth (or the
; m# {* }" I* a1 z& {& x4 _4 d- @worst).
, N" ^3 d" X2 M) a7 e6 Hsuch impertinence/ r* ? ]6 j1 L w( W* b
only makes the gods/ O4 e* T& P- u' \
hesitate and$ y, v. \6 ?7 z: b
delay./ m% f" x& Q3 H1 o2 r5 g- [: j
ask me: I’m
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TO THE WHORE WHO TOOK MY POEMS+ h, T* n; S: D
BY CHARLES BUKOWSKI0 N/ b& Z4 E; T# F! T
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0 `$ `4 H2 r4 C. N1 p9 A: n. }some say we should keep personal remorse from the 6 ^; x. A7 \* z8 B; b( s1 x: M
poem,, }; ~( M: e8 L/ {$ D; @5 c# X/ \
stay abstract, and there is some reason in this,
- g& t G* c' \5 s3 s, Gbut jezus;
/ Y+ _) @, W6 ntwelve poems gone and I don't keep carbons and you have- D s, I- k0 m9 W" C/ y
my : s) u9 C( z7 F+ N) E' q, v; h& Z) X
paintings too, my best ones; it's stifling;
& i& ?8 L4 _$ `/ f$ b8 kare you trying to crush me out like the rest of them?, p" K8 D! {( ^7 ]: I" P8 T/ G
why didn't you take my money? they usually do/ ?7 w% c: e a3 v6 L, N; W
from the sleeping drunken pants sick in the corner.
; E: t3 X% F% p3 a) V {next time take my left arm or a fifty
0 l- q2 ^7 Q) h! t6 I7 F, {but not my poems:
3 D$ A( V# A' H5 b% @( UI'm not Shakespeare
: a+ w4 v3 p# L- i; O' Y& Obut sometime simply
8 H f- V: {3 T) fthere won't be any more, abstract or otherwise;2 \% }; H4 R. l: s3 I4 O3 Q; j' v
there'll always be money and whores and drunkards N, C/ _( l6 y B
down to the last bomb,6 a9 q8 i1 A0 Q/ q5 N0 j, a" i% ~! @
but as God said,, {/ H K5 e) f0 r9 v
crossing his legs,' E4 [" Q6 |9 [( }$ h* \/ P
I see where I have made plenty of poets
2 c( ]5 z8 ]* e- q0 Zbut not so very much
5 W X% I/ E9 mpoetry./ ~. {7 y- q3 U' h0 {! [8 H& @
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