作者:查尔斯.布考斯基- i2 F' m& l; q! p( k; W) m
翻译:莫笑愚3 e# _- ~0 [# F; b( D
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. Y% W/ ~. [, D/ D- \" ?《自杀的孩子》2 R3 I3 c6 r+ p+ i J8 y+ m
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我去了最糟的酒吧
2 s. ]4 A9 \* }- b: Y- H指望在那儿
z8 O/ j. ~1 A5 `) C被谋杀。
+ C8 j7 r3 |5 K$ ?$ B' X6 ]但我所能做的只是, z6 h" w# @ e4 K
再次将自己
9 f {& Y1 M! |' o2 z" q灌醉。
. B: k/ J8 e1 {" p5 P更糟的是,酒友们甚至5 h$ d- D4 g4 c- k" P9 _
开始
7 n2 m7 Q R+ Z' L- d8 p3 I5 n喜欢我了。
; A6 d. ]$ ?0 H) }4 H: T我在那儿只想惹怒别人 R3 X& _/ |% \7 W
并被推入黑暗的3 D( W9 S& ^$ K9 g' j. r' s( Z
深渊' C7 ^7 L8 Q ~
结果是我赢得了. o9 ?( [/ {: ?4 x
免费饮品5 _6 e ?. v0 h, _' t
恰逢某地
8 L7 F( y4 o* T某个7 g5 T! V" w# E+ l; q5 y
龟儿子躺在医院的" k! E; j8 n1 g ]+ P
病床上,$ e& I+ {4 i$ V. |" k$ u
全身插满了
& l# s" K% l1 W+ y管子9 Y4 A! l) [8 y* v
为了活着,他拼命挣扎
# T3 g* y9 v" o, p使出了吃奶的劲。: R+ ?, r& \6 e% h) K, I, m7 h
无人会助我
, o. Y& T& B9 z. L1 }/ K( Y+ F9 H死亡
9 a, \1 q& D! w3 `当我们畅饮" L: s6 _0 r( {. l( F N
达旦,
# _) O# G0 [9 Z( V% h7 u( }: H当第二天. d% |0 ~+ v, @2 T! |
等着我
+ I. c' o3 p3 Y* z" M' y用它的钢钳,& v2 T7 m9 R+ Z4 t
用它臭气熏天的2 ^6 E. R; w, t1 }; i
匿名,
% c7 k& g6 t M9 j8 T [ e B它暧昧的 X9 }; |0 q# q+ y
态度。
0 \2 \) N! w2 h$ T死亡并非总是( y( N" A p1 G5 ?7 b
如期而至
9 M: w; N* H9 o( E0 {/ Y7 e当你呼唤
) v0 M( v6 C. N它,
6 f8 x& u" ~/ A' O w- t哪怕你从一个% X+ n, a: X- X& m
闪光的
4 W/ |2 j$ e5 y& r/ _6 k" |- v* [2 n城堡+ Q$ l: L0 z; B5 g
或者从一艘远洋游轮/ O2 \* R- }! ]1 ?) O
或者从地球上
7 V2 p$ c; v( a+ x3 b ^6 m: e最好(或最差)7 ]! I' l" G& u5 y: K
的酒吧呼8 h9 w' K/ ^8 Z5 A# G' K9 f u
唤它。7 z1 A* t: X! H5 { {1 F
如此无礼
) B5 S/ `8 y( U. V* U只会令众神
: T0 H9 C1 j$ u4 _犹豫并
9 g0 Y. f) n. V/ ?, K5 y5 Q推迟死期。
0 c6 e& T/ u3 I% d问我:我已) v5 J _! F0 a! O* f% B. D
72岁了。
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《致拿走我诗歌的荡妇》
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有人说该让悔恨远离3 a1 Z8 W' \3 T- P1 k& k' U% l
诗歌,' @- d$ Y% j' m* H2 O9 ^
该抽象,这貌似有理,
9 n1 o% b# e: k- F* W( g但是耶稣啊;
& Y) Q/ ]% @, ~( ^; t1 b* X12首诗歌失踪了我连尸首也找不到而你还拿走了
/ u& B' T) l. D% g, n, N) F" B我的& G. G4 b" {8 I! P9 j' B; P
油画,我最好的墨宝; 这令我窒息;
0 V# X: @* {& A难道你也像她们一样要榨干我的皮?
c1 _. S t6 ?0 E& n为何不拿走我的现金?她们通常会从一个醉醺醺
# z& K R! G+ L+ ?, A昏睡在角落的醉鬼裤兜里拿走金钱
8 }. z' \% a& j# N) `$ J0 U5 [# N下次就拿走我的左臂或者一张50元的钞票; V) W# B( q! q9 o! H0 t1 z" C8 g
但不要拿走我的诗歌:
3 r. I' ]5 } f$ k# t+ W. L- p F! z我并非莎士比亚
8 x2 H" z+ N( J* [" g但有时候就是
; g* ~0 D0 x+ [$ o+ Y5 K. y再也不会有诗歌,抽象或其它;( e6 S# k$ W t8 {: W% C: D; I0 ]6 }
但钱和荡妇和醉鬼却总是遍地皆是# C7 g, B9 o- m) F+ M! [/ d
直至最后一枚炸弹,7 p; Z3 x% G: `6 E/ |; E G2 J9 k
但正如上帝所说,
2 h7 }5 G' ^1 }1 }: l当他翘着二郎腿儿,; |2 y( x! c) b8 x5 X0 I
我知道我在何处造就了许多诗人9 d' p) J, X( i/ t* t
而并非众多
" t7 \/ H3 T/ R! X$ X- p( t诗歌。6 U+ F5 o2 A9 G G' b. n6 V) Y J/ W
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* P4 W. O4 O: \$ W m附英文原文:$ G3 R4 i8 e( O9 p
, Y. c3 k$ P# l, e+ C# P+ y r$ jTHE SUICIDE KID
% n! h% a4 i1 x0 b- Uby Charles Bukowski
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I went to the worst of bars& q" W& [ d- D7 L; Z5 Z. Q3 W4 h
hoping to get( g! Q5 g& _0 V z. m
killed.
C8 ?# D8 t! u% c* y) A v; dbut all I could do was to" u6 P& D1 Z' V4 m" v; E$ o! s
get drunk
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worse, the bar patrons even3 s1 R" d* W% Q0 f
ended up
. Z2 s1 s5 Z1 X0 x- @6 m, l# Vliking me.
% y* S* L+ N2 J/ i5 z0 A7 ^& H9 qthere I was trying to get
3 T8 ?+ ]- N# _' apushed over the dark
2 L; X' g. {/ N- M$ tedge! m* q* P& r9 Q9 z+ v
and I ended up with7 |) X2 f" O6 Q B8 g4 T, A
free drinks0 W, y2 o4 m, M' i$ m2 W
while somewhere else$ w. P7 X( W( g% |2 j+ g' n
some poor
7 ]5 K3 ^$ f* [son-of-a-bitch was in a hospital
( u( P- R" j* q+ G! Y( U# [bed,; z1 W8 y( r% F+ {
tubes sticking out all over
$ i7 w! g) {7 |6 v" k' o& I& shim
" \3 \$ \2 {# B$ D- S; b- \as he fought like hell6 Q$ j" ]4 H5 b3 c6 o0 `+ r& ?
to live.6 C/ y. Y) _ G. r
nobody would help me" L9 C% W% |# Y% Z: ~% f4 |: `
die as4 g( T5 J" Z' I! G
the drinks kept2 G" n% Y% \$ d: ?* [/ e) }
coming,& i! p2 r" H5 j! u
as the next day, ~- l* ?5 `6 \9 \5 D
waited for me
/ j# E( E2 N8 i6 `0 H3 Xwith its steel clamps,; A2 {1 D- D8 }9 \( u$ k6 Q
its stinking
2 ~8 |. n1 J) i C. r2 ranonymity,( \1 X8 R0 ]0 T+ N9 B
its incognisant ! D5 [$ f4 J/ ]( i8 o( w) Y
attitude.
$ }7 r9 `5 D6 n% I. l% ]6 Odeath doesn’t always
# e$ d9 u$ ]. @4 W) Z& Wcome running% G: [- S% p9 P; g. }
when you call2 e( N( E# ?6 m
it,; \9 d4 A+ Z# |
not even if you* ^" \2 ~' m8 _- ~6 A5 o3 B
call it% f2 O" p. v& n, N% T* y( M
from a shining
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or from an ocean liner
* Y2 |- m6 w3 b/ r4 x4 Dor from the best bar
+ ?3 X. m0 W9 M, S, E3 W0 s$ I( \on earth (or the0 R: H7 P! V$ t6 L j+ [; s. H
worst).
M8 p e, w6 T0 R0 j- X* ysuch impertinence% X: I5 [6 t4 w& v
only makes the gods
0 l* Z6 L# d" o+ A3 shesitate and
9 P4 U; y- v5 W3 _delay.
% d1 j9 r8 g% H; ^2 ?7 T% ^% z: v! gask me: I’m* _3 R" C" Z* j
72.5 W7 ^( q- |) n7 B9 k+ i0 } d, N) C
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) R |- O: |4 xTO THE WHORE WHO TOOK MY POEMS
& i/ T) l! ~/ `: q& w) x [$ QBY CHARLES BUKOWSKI; o8 ?3 C1 ?3 T/ U- y0 {
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; b# k( W3 S; Q- Gsome say we should keep personal remorse from the
* A1 B6 Z% a* A% X9 ] J: `# U/ vpoem,' _. x, I w) B) P
stay abstract, and there is some reason in this,5 ?8 B5 r; |2 p' F
but jezus;/ B4 V1 n2 X( z% B8 L ?
twelve poems gone and I don't keep carbons and you have
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, Z* d% F# x2 O: \8 A8 G0 ?paintings too, my best ones; it's stifling;
( T- H% ]; m- I4 u; F' {2 I% g2 @. \( Qare you trying to crush me out like the rest of them?
; e/ Y, l0 @$ ~2 v5 G2 ]/ ?why didn't you take my money? they usually do
: W- M% B& Y4 _1 f/ Tfrom the sleeping drunken pants sick in the corner.
$ g h F; X6 C) Q: `* y1 K. knext time take my left arm or a fifty$ j; U8 l/ m3 D/ i* l: S1 y
but not my poems:# K N& x" ?& ]
I'm not Shakespeare& D. S4 t" r2 |; D8 H+ F) g
but sometime simply
- `, k" n9 V. H% ~' C7 M( Kthere won't be any more, abstract or otherwise;
7 G3 r: f# u" Q T& Y4 f3 C8 Dthere'll always be money and whores and drunkards( M4 W% b# x8 K1 b
down to the last bomb, h& Q8 a& t. Y
but as God said,8 S, S: {5 ]! U- Q* a! f' }( N
crossing his legs,- u/ [. b, U( Y, O8 M7 R3 b
I see where I have made plenty of poets
& _* o5 r$ V# a* z$ L2 D; ebut not so very much
6 V* B0 D3 `/ T1 J! M7 i. Kpoetry.
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