D. H. 劳伦斯 - 微诗三首

朱峰

蚊子知道

蚊子完全知道，它虽然渺小
却是吸血之兽。
但毕竟
它只是填饱肚皮，
而没有把我的血存到银行里。


The Mosquito Knows

The mosquito knows full well, small as he is
he's a beast of prey.
But after all
he only takes his bellyful,
he doesn't put my blood in the bank.



浪花

奇迹啊，泡沫这么美。
浪头愤怒地冲击岩石，撞得粉碎
白色的野花嘶嘶绽开，
然后撤退，猛地吸气，
如此的挫败多么美！


Spray

It is a wonder foam is so beautiful.
A wave bursts in anger on a rock, broken up
in a wild white sibilant spray
and falls back, drawing in its breath with rage,
with frustration how beautiful!


白马

年轻人走向那匹白马，要把笼头套上
马儿无声地看着他。
他们如此安静，仿佛处于另一个世界。


The White Horse


The youth walks up to the white horse, to put its halter on
and the horse looks at him in silence.
They are so silent, they are in another world.

（by D.H. Lawrence）

土登扎西

阿弥陀佛

李世纯

蚊子知道

蚊子完全知道，它虽然渺小
却是吸血之兽。       （as 取义 “ 虽然 ”，应避免连用 “ 却 ” 字；弱意，因其属弱意让步修饰语；本句语序：1.3.2 得满分）
但毕竟
它只是填饱肚皮，
而没有把我的血存到银行里。


The Mosquito Knows

The mosquito knows full well, small as he is
he's a beast of prey.
But after all
he only takes his bellyful,
he doesn't put my blood in the bank.



浪花

奇迹啊，泡沫这么美。
浪头愤怒地冲击岩石，撞得粉碎
白色的野花嘶嘶绽开，
然后撤退，猛地吸气，
如此的挫败多么美！


Spray

It is a wonder foam is so beautiful.
A wave bursts in anger on a rock, broken up
in a wild white sibilant spray
and falls back, drawing in its breath with rage,
with frustration how beautiful!  （本句中 beautiful 最大程度可取 “ 极好的 ”，不可用类 “ 美丽 ” 褒义词）

白马

年轻人走向那匹白马，要把笼头套上
马儿无声地看着他。
他们如此安静，仿佛处于另一个世界。


The White Horse


The youth walks up to the white horse, to put its halter on
and the horse looks at him in silence.
They are so silent, they are in another world.  （原作直白现实，没有“ 仿佛 ”  诗意；况现实亦如此）

（by D.H. Lawrence）

李世纯

李世纯 发表于 2018-10-23 16:18
蚊子知道

蚊子完全知道，它虽然渺小

浪花

奇迹啊，泡沫这么美。
浪头愤怒地冲击岩石，撞得粉碎
白色的野花嘶嘶绽开，
然后撤退，猛地吸气，
如此的挫败多么美！            （ 曲解 beautiful，使全文寓意迷茫）


Spray

It is a wonder foam is so beautiful.
A wave bursts in anger on a rock, broken up
in a wild white sibilant spray
and falls back, drawing in its breath with rage,
with frustration how beautiful!  （本句中 beautiful 最大程度可取 “ 极好的 ”，不可用类 “ 美丽 ” 褒义词）