英译余秀华"穿越大半个中国去睡你"

叶如钢

  1.  Crossing more than half of China to bed you                  

原作： 余秀华

叶如钢译


Well,  bedding you and being bedded by you are basically the same
It's simply the force of  colliding between two bodies
It's simply a flower which this force brings to bloom
It's simply an illusion of spring formed by this flower
Which we mistake to be  a  reopenning of life
Across more than half of China, everything is happenning:
Volcanoes are erupting,  rivers are drying up
Those political prisoners and vagabonds whom nobody cares about
Those elks and red-crowned cranes who face gun barrels all their way
I am coming through the hail of bullets to bed you
I am pressing countless nights into one dawn to bed you
I am a countless number of myself running to become one to bed you
Of course I may also be led astray by some butterflies
I may take some praises for a  spring
I may take some village similar to Hengdian for my hometown
But these
Are all indispensable reasons for me to go over to bed you


注： 上面这个版本是试验性的， 我原来一直犹豫，因为英文里标准用法是 He beds her.  She beds with him.
诗友熊重阳君和其他地方两位网友认为可以用 to bed,  不必用 to bed with。 有此鼓励，
我也就有勇气这样用了。




  2.  Crossing more than half of China to sleep you                  

原作： 余秀华

叶如钢译


Well,  sleeping you and being slept by you are basically the same
It's simply the force of  colliding between two bodies
It's simply a flower which this force brings to bloom
It's simply an illusion of spring formed by this flower
Which we mistake to be  a  reopenning of life
Across more than half of China, everything is happenning:
Volcanoes are erupting,  rivers are drying up
Those political prisoners and vagabonds whom nobody cares about
Those elks and red-crowned cranes who face gun barrels all their way
I am coming through the hail of bullets to sleep you
I am pressing countless nights into one dawn to sleep you
I am a countless number of myself running to become one to sleep you
Of course I may also be led astray by some butterflies
I may take some praises for a  spring
I may take some village similar to Hengdian for my hometown
But these
Are all indispensable reasons for me to go to sleep you


注： 上面这个版本是试验性的， 因为英文里不说  sleep you。
这里我试图在英文里引进这个新用法。


  
3.  Crossing more than half of China to sleep with you                  

原作： 余秀华

叶如钢译


Well,  screwing you and being screwed by you are basically the same
It's simply the force of  colliding between two bodies
It's simply a flower which this force brings to bloom
It's simply an illusion of spring formed by this flower
Which we mistake to be  a  reopenning of life
Across more than half of China, everything is happenning:
Volcanoes are erupting,  rivers are drying up
Those political prisoners and vagabonds whom nobody cares about
Those elks and red-crowned cranes who face gun barrels all their way
I am coming through the hail of bullets to sleep with you
I am pressing countless nights into one dawn to sleep with  you
I am a countless number of myself running to become one to sleep with you
Of course I may also be led astray by some butterflies
I may take some praises for a  spring
I may take some village similar to Hengdian for my hometown
But these
Are all indispensable reasons for me to go to sleep with you


  4.  Crossing more than half of China to screw you                  

原作： 余秀华

叶如钢译


Well,  screwing you and being screwed by you are basically the same
It's simply the force of  colliding between two bodies
It's simply a flower which this force brings to bloom
It's simply an illusion of spring formed by this flower
Which we mistake to be  a  reopenning of life
Across more than half of China, everything is happenning:
Volcanoes are erupting,  rivers are drying up
Those political prisoners and vagabonds whom nobody cares about
Those elks and red-crowned cranes who face gun barrels all their way
I am coming through the hail of bullets to screw you
I am pressing countless nights into one dawn to screw you
I am a countless number of myself running to become one to screw you
Of course I may also be led astray by some butterflies
I may take some praises for a  spring
I may take some village similar to Hengdian for my hometown
But these
Are all indispensable reasons for me to go to screw you

穿越大半个中国去睡你

余秀华


其实，睡你和被你睡是差不多的，无非是
两具肉体碰撞的力，无非是这力催开的花朵
无非是这花朵虚拟出的春天让我们误以为生命被重新打开
大半个中国，什么都在发生：火山在喷，河流在枯
一些不被关心的政治犯和流民
一路在枪口的麋鹿和丹顶鹤
我是穿过枪林弹雨去睡你
我是把无数的黑夜摁进一个黎明去睡你
我是无数个我奔跑成一个我去睡你
当然我也会被一些蝴蝶带入歧途
把一些赞美当成春天
把一个和横店类似的村庄当成故乡
而它们
都是我去睡你必不可少的理由

叶如钢

莫笑愚 发表于 2015-2-8 13:39
区别可能就是主动和被动的区别了，比如去睡你可能是”lay you （down）"，被你睡可以是“get laid"，个人 ...

get laid  是美国男人， 尤其是大学生， 常用的。 所以没有被动含义。 女人当然也用。

lay you down 也是指男人对女人。 所以和 to bed 相似。

多谢效愚夸奖鼓励！  讨论有益。 此前我就和多位诗友讨论过。

莫笑愚

叶如钢 发表于 2015-2-8 13:31
用 get laid,  无法区别“睡”和“被睡”。 我起初用过fxxk， 后来改成了 screw。

问候笑愚。

区别可能就是主动和被动的区别了，比如去睡你可能是”lay you （down）"，被你睡可以是“get laid"，个人觉得这更符合英文习惯。不过这两个词在英语世界可能都不会有faminsm的意味，英美文化中早过了用性行为决定是否女权主义的阶段。。。
问候如钢。翻译得很精彩。比原文雅致多了。个见，包涵。。。

叶如钢

莫笑愚 发表于 2015-2-8 13:27
商榷：我觉得这里的“睡”翻译成“get laid"更好，意思比“bed"更贴近原文。有人说用“fxxk"，有点太庸俗了 ...

用 get laid,  无法区别“睡”和“被睡”。 我起初用过fxxk， 后来改成了 screw。

问候笑愚。

莫笑愚

商榷：我觉得这里的“睡”翻译成“get laid"更好，意思比“bed"更贴近原文。有人说用“fxxk"，有点太庸俗了，不过又比”get laid"也许更贴近原文。

深海之蓝

叶如钢 发表于 2015-2-4 11:01
多谢深海之蓝君！ 迟复为歉。 问候。

不客气!问好!

叶如钢

深海之蓝 发表于 2015-1-26 20:28
欣赏！

多谢深海之蓝君！ 迟复为歉。 问候。

叶如钢

发之蝶 发表于 2015-1-25 16:01
这首一首好诗 翻译得也很到位
怎么能说是去国外丢人呢

多谢诗友！ 迟复为歉。 问候。

叶如钢

吴谨 发表于 2015-2-4 10:49
我不懂外语，但这两个单词还认得。为了热闹，可以起哄的嘛

经过反复考虑， 经过与几位网友的讨论， 我贴出了上面
列在第一位置的译本。 “睡”译成“bed ”， 这是英文的“床”做动词用。 与中文很接近。

选用哪个词最合适， 我是作为一个学术问题来处理的。
还望诗友体谅。 问候。

吴谨

叶如钢 发表于 2015-1-26 00:17
诗友有所不知。 “睡你”“被你睡”是翻译这首诗的难点。
英文里的 sleep wiith  不能传达出“睡”的 ...

我不懂外语，但这两个单词还认得。为了热闹，可以起哄的嘛