作者:查尔斯.布考斯基* M5 b; R% K' [9 y# j
翻译:莫笑愚
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# k3 f( x9 [; v. M《自杀的孩子》3 x' A! V3 W; a; P( u4 W, n& ?
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我去了最糟的酒吧
$ o1 s" S' K* u( t; x: ?# k指望在那儿7 ?/ J9 k; t, p5 B
被谋杀。
0 D ~+ G6 M5 I但我所能做的只是( c3 Q- ~9 }7 r$ B/ ], z
再次将自己- S+ X7 t) F8 e
灌醉。. { j1 d1 I! v- i
更糟的是,酒友们甚至; q5 g( o& }2 Q( C
开始
# Y# P* L6 M) A6 K喜欢我了。
5 @7 R2 [1 Z% @" {5 ]1 V3 i% `我在那儿只想惹怒别人2 M, l& t$ X A) J, g3 m' A
并被推入黑暗的
1 n; ~2 q- E& O9 O; L6 N9 p' G深渊
3 `+ C6 a! i; N( V- \结果是我赢得了
" A9 d0 g6 e, @+ C6 Y4 d7 n免费饮品: B+ o! p4 i! a/ U5 U
恰逢某地, b) H/ T' ^9 F: b4 c# x, ^+ o
某个) F$ a: y' }/ V, P/ ^4 o, W& b% R
龟儿子躺在医院的! c9 I) ~) T8 S8 m4 V1 h0 U
病床上,
0 D7 b4 d3 f; g# [" T% s全身插满了6 C& v% I) }, s" N! p1 U
管子3 L7 S. Y. T+ Z2 h
为了活着,他拼命挣扎
/ M( H% Z; _! P4 \7 |+ b4 M: w使出了吃奶的劲。
; c4 l' s4 ~: W# i7 L3 P. n9 V无人会助我6 @3 j+ p$ J2 \6 Z, v: [; N. A& k4 S
死亡
$ |, w* c# t9 ?. T当我们畅饮. J9 E- l) x/ c9 H/ ^0 @
达旦,# S9 F/ C2 n, u1 i2 |$ ~
当第二天
m5 p% S0 ]) f# m0 u% c0 n) M4 s3 U L等着我% g& ]' ~2 U9 k( c; v+ h# o
用它的钢钳,) F: A& ^/ y" q4 X m
用它臭气熏天的& q; V2 L6 N; r P' v
匿名,
7 I2 E% m* A% l: @/ e0 r+ z它暧昧的
$ j+ o) A. M, O0 s4 ^态度。
- c+ N- u+ Z1 q/ H/ S6 C死亡并非总是
5 T5 I4 }+ S' ?: h0 _如期而至6 |2 X+ z! l( O1 j' v8 ?+ k3 Y
当你呼唤
b* L" e( L; y8 p3 O) J它,
9 i# S+ J0 `$ J4 F哪怕你从一个
1 m- Y, i$ g* y2 Q/ D闪光的
4 Z. g4 J) e- n城堡
, X* _$ R9 L+ L3 L4 m3 {+ ]或者从一艘远洋游轮9 J- |& Q* T. X" p9 j. ?
或者从地球上
. |+ H. X; T/ n, w" H; W0 F3 ?% b最好(或最差)) W7 D5 W- f! D; X
的酒吧呼
% A2 v8 F' `$ V3 X2 Y! ]$ {唤它。
8 w9 o5 k$ V8 R1 k( P1 q* J如此无礼2 S' W% ?9 `4 [4 Z' q: |
只会令众神
" ~9 w P6 u; u) L9 w2 a# e犹豫并9 J7 L- \$ }1 K6 o8 J6 j" y
推迟死期。+ Z2 s0 B+ E2 {
问我:我已
7 Z. g+ Q1 s: o6 p# t72岁了。; V* ^( K, z8 ` X
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《致拿走我诗歌的荡妇》+ [; z2 |4 x, a1 S$ ^ b
! ?$ m$ w6 o8 W7 S: K有人说该让悔恨远离
( R2 J% n8 {0 q2 @4 \诗歌,0 }; v7 ~' u6 _, g# n
该抽象,这貌似有理,
- `" M7 F! w2 ~8 {/ w# w. x4 \6 H6 L但是耶稣啊;" U3 }9 C2 c( d! \- F6 n* Q+ r5 x" I
12首诗歌失踪了我连尸首也找不到而你还拿走了; K( f, S" o& C* C; w# Q4 C
我的. p' G' S( J8 X( e+ R: A
油画,我最好的墨宝; 这令我窒息;7 ?$ a- K Y' N6 b8 q3 e, q: Q
难道你也像她们一样要榨干我的皮?8 C0 J4 K3 F' T. p# S
为何不拿走我的现金?她们通常会从一个醉醺醺" y. l0 p, C3 S( Z% U5 G e
昏睡在角落的醉鬼裤兜里拿走金钱' {3 f1 U) K* A3 X/ W( U
下次就拿走我的左臂或者一张50元的钞票% \" x6 r* T) O ~3 l
但不要拿走我的诗歌:! i8 P% s4 S9 ^0 d
我并非莎士比亚
5 w* W$ U$ P: u但有时候就是
: A. B5 N; Y4 b& E& {再也不会有诗歌,抽象或其它;' j) |+ o2 d& a
但钱和荡妇和醉鬼却总是遍地皆是, ` p- d0 i M; `' \: B
直至最后一枚炸弹,, `* s S5 |' C1 d3 I
但正如上帝所说,
: w$ U) X) c+ P3 X当他翘着二郎腿儿, J. _6 \" p3 |" |
我知道我在何处造就了许多诗人
* ~" l: q, a1 K- R/ w) |而并非众多
& q' a; W. B& `诗歌。( a) y l/ Z3 y7 k- |) |2 W/ |
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2 a7 u: p$ U+ [; b4 {* f附英文原文:- _) q+ F, I0 n# I" |+ x8 n
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THE SUICIDE KID3 X, K9 M) I% {( |. U) G' j/ V( S
by Charles Bukowski
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I went to the worst of bars9 Z8 A+ M, J% D5 H% n }' j
hoping to get: m. m' g9 I: b0 o7 z
killed.* m( I; Y8 \5 l9 L+ ?8 Y+ m
but all I could do was to
. @+ b( x: [: [get drunk/ }; d$ j& Y* h; L9 z. `# A& [
again.
( |* d; t: A% ~1 h+ \" Y+ @& c- aworse, the bar patrons even/ i7 x( X& W/ m" I; Y
ended up/ B/ y( q6 G9 ?2 n8 i4 J+ _8 ?
liking me.3 H9 `3 m; o( a& W- t, |/ u8 G/ H
there I was trying to get
! m; X; W' O4 n$ O7 W- r2 ^: t( Ipushed over the dark
2 J5 c" g9 w0 Eedge7 b! d6 \! l( e* D
and I ended up with
3 r4 H. i# |6 i$ ofree drinks
# c4 H2 G* E. p8 i3 t0 W6 S# K; rwhile somewhere else5 L1 U: _* s0 I/ ?! d7 n: } l
some poor
2 V9 H0 {# `- m7 C. |4 T3 Wson-of-a-bitch was in a hospital, J, e6 T9 |. x( s( E+ f( l z
bed,& y5 n4 S1 K( }
tubes sticking out all over
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as he fought like hell" t, |6 H0 s4 W) m9 H2 G* V
to live.$ T# X* t( L- i' m. i; |* \" _+ u
nobody would help me
0 D* Q; `1 W! ~- v" {die as
/ D+ Q: k! L2 lthe drinks kept
7 ], K! b* I/ `coming,
$ V, L! H: L3 a( Q8 a& C1 Bas the next day+ Q/ w: x W) t% G. ~
waited for me
& p8 y* v( D& V! H7 V, a: M: xwith its steel clamps,
/ d" F, y8 N$ @5 `9 Nits stinking7 }) g7 Z' C g. [. ^
anonymity,
+ x: x$ i2 D8 Q# i5 A" C# Vits incognisant
5 y) |5 w1 D3 j6 m. t6 Y; y7 wattitude.
0 p6 x) |7 M, t2 pdeath doesn’t always
h( z- g0 t9 |& @. x* Ncome running/ _) t( V( l2 L5 y
when you call
$ H4 S$ {4 G# m0 K0 W9 _it,
9 d! d/ z7 V( A- u" Y0 vnot even if you
F8 N" S6 b6 T0 H, }, ]call it
( a0 H" e* e) Z% Nfrom a shining! H. N7 l$ y' H! t7 c/ x! ^5 g
castle9 F1 ?* H+ L3 ^, M7 i& I+ S5 ~
or from an ocean liner
( i O8 x7 j# N* _& a$ {or from the best bar
! |$ m& h% `8 {" V0 Con earth (or the
0 ^; D" i) K- a5 O v/ x8 l( vworst).
" w1 t5 _6 w6 q0 k+ B' K% ]: {6 G3 `( esuch impertinence
# e0 t' ?+ Z8 u% l& {/ ~only makes the gods; l8 ~: h& d# I5 V6 s! ?2 I6 [" P
hesitate and' ~9 K6 j: B! u, m2 i
delay.6 Y4 b+ A% r8 _5 I0 Q! j
ask me: I’m
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% a& Q8 X, x# `) l7 ^! m* xTO THE WHORE WHO TOOK MY POEMS- q% N& \" Z: o( z) z0 r3 _ T
BY CHARLES BUKOWSKI. U; D& r/ i' ^- F f
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some say we should keep personal remorse from the
* U+ u# S6 @/ U; ~8 k( epoem,5 W) O/ F r# s' }# a
stay abstract, and there is some reason in this,3 r% ?7 T" \/ |. O
but jezus;
, {, u7 R- u; @# X. ctwelve poems gone and I don't keep carbons and you have3 J4 e) H# s1 a A; ^, m
my K3 i# ~1 W9 K n; J# |) M9 ^ X
paintings too, my best ones; it's stifling;
3 B' b5 A4 Y! A: {1 w( [) jare you trying to crush me out like the rest of them?3 V' z& p* N$ S- C- ]0 j8 a. C
why didn't you take my money? they usually do
- P9 |' l" P/ h( i! H, i7 @! G: ~, p, yfrom the sleeping drunken pants sick in the corner.
* u# a. w0 g8 H4 b( c+ q {! C$ R! znext time take my left arm or a fifty
' b! U" `- h& E* a* q& d# K. Wbut not my poems:; w/ Q3 p" H: _8 Z4 ~% n
I'm not Shakespeare: n! V6 z( O ]9 E& X
but sometime simply" J) E, t0 H' O' s' ?4 H
there won't be any more, abstract or otherwise;4 \+ k- `- {7 V/ u# D7 Z5 \: H1 L
there'll always be money and whores and drunkards+ f3 _6 W# _# p$ w
down to the last bomb,
! l$ U# Z8 ^& E$ m; v8 [) Gbut as God said,5 Z- t R9 \4 a& A
crossing his legs,
, c& Z0 O$ l. CI see where I have made plenty of poets0 U, j2 x; [3 h, j3 V1 T' g
but not so very much y" L# v1 E( {, o/ E* v9 }( r
poetry.
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