作者:查尔斯.布考斯基0 H% W+ C( S1 i8 F( H9 C4 h8 x
翻译:莫笑愚
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《自杀的孩子》
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我去了最糟的酒吧
* B+ T4 a* K; C$ ]指望在那儿' v5 s: L& e; ]% ~$ R2 ~9 p
被谋杀。
% q$ ?- Z6 }+ [2 u8 K但我所能做的只是
) V1 a& S" `7 z1 u% L% _再次将自己* W& X' a J4 V: D
灌醉。
( l3 X/ R8 D6 ~3 c( p/ \. \更糟的是,酒友们甚至
5 [! R3 d% u( _+ a5 a" m开始9 _8 }( @# A' S" ]
喜欢我了。: ~+ D* c$ @0 \1 p. u; }: P
我在那儿只想惹怒别人
2 R8 p# a4 f: e2 x0 ?" A, l! C; \0 I并被推入黑暗的$ P) r$ v1 A4 E/ B3 {1 B
深渊6 U9 N& i2 f2 j5 v4 r8 b
结果是我赢得了
i- a4 k6 b3 e( i/ T免费饮品
% p" H4 C3 h! K% X& Z9 `4 _: z4 W3 @& r恰逢某地
9 L0 n" {! v6 k' [2 {某个
/ n1 c. a2 _: B3 g {龟儿子躺在医院的
! i4 g% S! S c( d9 A: k, p病床上,
- j" z0 P7 y5 }& C9 }" v全身插满了
% o: |3 l5 g2 A$ H& p. w. h; \管子
' b: j) i5 a* T为了活着,他拼命挣扎
/ z' ^4 n& t7 t# `& l. }使出了吃奶的劲。- F' R( o2 {; \/ ]" G
无人会助我
# Z+ U# \2 w0 G0 c3 v死亡
e y" F8 i$ f* U$ j( c当我们畅饮
2 h2 j2 x" C' ?9 N% y4 \' d达旦,
% K5 b% c# ]/ Y( W& D. G3 V当第二天
, D; I/ `( T, k等着我
+ n$ K _/ ^: e- w用它的钢钳,# {# e. }% ]! O/ `
用它臭气熏天的
6 Y! P) ^8 |, t0 k$ k匿名,0 M& E0 h/ r# S0 o
它暧昧的/ `- E2 {5 j7 P! i( c! S9 S8 c
态度。, V" @( Z. d3 `. @
死亡并非总是
2 ^+ F# k* Z7 n* C如期而至
" e. e( g; X2 A) M- N当你呼唤
: ~* L# x4 G% F它,# B# Q9 ~* a! O# H
哪怕你从一个& @% E# o, e% X5 l. S) |9 L% B9 ]) }
闪光的
% t9 ^& Y) F& U, Q" R& i城堡% Z! L. k( i+ ~* M1 @: l
或者从一艘远洋游轮
4 E7 {4 R. o8 h' |; m: N或者从地球上
5 K- Q* P: \) m7 @8 Y- {: o8 j' |最好(或最差)/ i% { P% { \* s6 J8 T7 v
的酒吧呼# G1 ?9 g$ a6 H( D) m R
唤它。
% a n. e) e* @0 F如此无礼
( I3 U$ }# Z1 a1 I, ?只会令众神: H9 k7 M0 A* \, V, R! c
犹豫并) o9 t3 N; ]3 U8 ]0 {9 e
推迟死期。
! u. K) X3 E$ u, O1 s问我:我已# f. V: w% |2 Q" t, z7 j
72岁了。 m: T8 v; J7 S. a8 s/ Y
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《致拿走我诗歌的荡妇》) k1 G' q! f) ]5 _: z" e
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有人说该让悔恨远离+ O7 a$ s$ J: b% z$ c# m: w. h
诗歌,! V: i+ P* r5 d2 y) J1 V. W0 `
该抽象,这貌似有理,7 _1 `3 E. K' @, O* t" }
但是耶稣啊;
& Q1 }/ s) H: V( Y* \" s8 c12首诗歌失踪了我连尸首也找不到而你还拿走了$ v) E! M* S+ V
我的
$ F+ x, p' d+ J# Y9 Q油画,我最好的墨宝; 这令我窒息;, ?$ |( V( P, e; e
难道你也像她们一样要榨干我的皮?, L0 L1 i" e: B
为何不拿走我的现金?她们通常会从一个醉醺醺
6 I$ v6 @+ p. T% y# V& @" I昏睡在角落的醉鬼裤兜里拿走金钱5 v2 ~) g# O7 K/ Q2 e/ y+ z6 ]0 @
下次就拿走我的左臂或者一张50元的钞票
! a/ ]5 ~9 _1 {4 O7 k, a但不要拿走我的诗歌:
' W& n# v! ^3 Y' ^- ]我并非莎士比亚
4 o: Q8 y( e7 H# h( L3 f8 a V5 m/ P但有时候就是
& r ~( M( W8 L6 t- q) k) S% V再也不会有诗歌,抽象或其它;8 y( \2 {7 x0 G
但钱和荡妇和醉鬼却总是遍地皆是
$ U1 p0 [/ P) y7 X' M3 r直至最后一枚炸弹,
, s# ?% b4 z! D! b/ q5 @1 U但正如上帝所说,
! d3 m9 ^. ^9 @2 p8 t当他翘着二郎腿儿,
& Y# \0 \$ }# U0 Y* j6 k9 @( F我知道我在何处造就了许多诗人
) Q% V1 O1 z x" e# Z而并非众多
% @3 m0 b8 s* ]! d6 g6 Y! B诗歌。 I* l/ U6 B6 q# U
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附英文原文:* r" P# V1 S0 J3 T. n
( \* n9 T* z: T5 Z* J" bTHE SUICIDE KID
. |( L. k9 c7 f+ M& @. h1 eby Charles Bukowski# p. m2 T$ b' ]
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, q( ]$ b, G' F. ?I went to the worst of bars$ a% @) M4 L9 v" b( E
hoping to get
5 E9 }6 F& ~$ ]killed.
$ l1 V& m9 _/ X$ C4 I: K5 Lbut all I could do was to! J& V2 I) S) K( X: }" w. y
get drunk I2 b8 T1 L. ]5 W% A6 L: L
again.
, V7 \; D& m: z5 o& T+ X0 Kworse, the bar patrons even
5 ^6 U7 k8 k" Cended up
1 ^- _' h; z) y: {liking me.7 ^4 I" f+ D9 p7 N5 W
there I was trying to get4 [) R2 _5 P) E* }& a
pushed over the dark
2 u* h3 q1 `! F& C' j+ b; |edge
9 d: q: m( g9 \- Q( j2 L3 Y: Iand I ended up with& w# p# b; r2 U$ {, t/ C
free drinks3 B3 T" e/ {+ U9 X, F
while somewhere else
' \9 \0 g6 J4 ^, }" E& G9 rsome poor
+ z8 [- J/ h5 l$ F3 Ason-of-a-bitch was in a hospital
. i' R" B& ]4 v: y' V0 Zbed,
5 }9 U2 [3 Y% c% ^; W! O. Gtubes sticking out all over- U a% [: H+ Z5 ?! |1 q$ z& e
him
- ~8 g. M, y3 E5 a% z0 Gas he fought like hell
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nobody would help me
+ @" \0 s6 S1 Q' sdie as
& c* r- {5 @5 Q1 J" F* {5 othe drinks kept
n* e- z( D! M+ o/ d1 Jcoming,$ |% F+ x/ ~# e9 G' w; A
as the next day7 y' _+ H$ m @' y1 {' y) g/ F
waited for me
) @) _4 W' [+ d0 J) o0 Zwith its steel clamps,# U; u B3 W+ _ H4 t3 W Z
its stinking) W' @- h5 c( }. C7 Z% d6 K' @
anonymity,
# }; T& [1 I& Y( B- ~( ~+ hits incognisant
) F" a6 z T9 C0 O) ~4 vattitude.4 v! r5 n7 c B$ M' u' y
death doesn’t always" j3 J9 Y4 b- v2 f4 r8 g
come running# p% k# D% x" U* U; Q+ n* I% N
when you call* Q+ r( u7 J$ c1 K
it,
$ A& @+ t1 v" S4 E4 dnot even if you
3 }5 L& a7 M) ^" I! Y( qcall it
1 X' B: v) L3 r0 pfrom a shining
& [. ^$ N, Y" d% b; @castle
# R( [1 H# J9 z; dor from an ocean liner
% ]7 O# j. Q8 X" Aor from the best bar) R' c4 {/ V ?; E* ~, @2 C
on earth (or the8 c) v s/ x" d* z
worst).
2 V4 }; [9 b5 G5 g) Tsuch impertinence( `+ |/ K' l+ M# u7 L
only makes the gods
0 l& @" t# A9 A5 chesitate and
% {* C& k% A9 F; a5 N" j( A, |delay.
) B# O$ r+ R+ e4 F5 w9 U% c6 t3 jask me: I’m
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C- L- ~$ f" _- z2 l1 t3 sTO THE WHORE WHO TOOK MY POEMS
$ H$ B2 N" h$ }; OBY CHARLES BUKOWSKI$ _, F5 s0 _# U2 D. w) m
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; G9 T* A; z6 Q& u% x" R0 Y+ g& r' Jsome say we should keep personal remorse from the
3 h; u7 D! e( ]. z9 a" S8 Kpoem,; V, X) b2 x+ E$ `* }
stay abstract, and there is some reason in this,7 N7 h# `2 e" G5 w8 }2 M, `% l
but jezus;
6 i; Z+ z( Y. B% s4 btwelve poems gone and I don't keep carbons and you have
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paintings too, my best ones; it's stifling;
# m( C* J8 _+ @1 o( F) k( l0 m; eare you trying to crush me out like the rest of them?
9 t' B$ I- v9 Q! iwhy didn't you take my money? they usually do
u `1 W9 h% }& x2 p( ~from the sleeping drunken pants sick in the corner.3 X0 q6 x$ t( N# R5 ^
next time take my left arm or a fifty
! L0 q% ^5 t: N+ x7 \. W6 ?6 vbut not my poems:, I3 |$ y0 o0 ?& q: t' A9 Z
I'm not Shakespeare
7 ?) ]( l4 ]& R2 X5 K; u. ybut sometime simply
( y, B6 k4 D( Ethere won't be any more, abstract or otherwise;3 m) v2 p6 i$ s9 G3 K, R& ^
there'll always be money and whores and drunkards
' P+ @( l5 ^' Udown to the last bomb,* h' A; ^" ~* K+ T4 S
but as God said,/ I' \9 _: E& f
crossing his legs,
7 Q2 B4 {* s @3 W; P! lI see where I have made plenty of poets7 c& ?% G0 R" T- X9 F# Z. q+ Y1 a: P
but not so very much
0 g; R6 y7 Z% zpoetry.% _ T+ m+ G# A* r2 s
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