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深 入 学 习《 A Quiet Normal Life 》 读 后 感

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楼主
发表于 2018-11-3 16:00 | 只看该作者 |只看大图 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式

首先致谢主要参考文献之慧眼伯乐朋友让众诗友高瞻远瞩大开眼界





1. 原    文




A Quiet Normal Life (6)

                                                                  ____ Wallace - Stevens( US / 1879 -1955)



        《 希 声 常 在 》     
                                                                  ____ 华莱士 · 史蒂文斯( 美  /  1879 -1955)


  




His place, as he sat and as he thought, was not       (7.8)
In anything that he constructed, so frail,
So barely lit, so shadowed over and naught,

凡其之所在,无不其居外
空灵,缥缈,扑朔,迷离
隐隐匿匿,不可思议


As, for example, a world in which, like snow,
He became an inhabitant, obedient
To gallant notions on the part of cold.                (9)

是如沐冰雪,其人易土著
时至出手即出手
大义凛然无反顾

It was here. This was the setting and the time         (10.11.12)
Of year. Here in his house and in his room,            (13)
In his chair, the most tranquil thought grew peaked

正如许,经年历久之壮举
出其舍,出其室,出其椅
悄声一念,一军崛起

And the oldest and the warmest heart was cut           (14.15)
By gallant notions on the part of night --             (16)
Both late and alone, above the crickets' chords,       (17)

行将成,势临界,万籁俱寂夜
后其身者而身先
惟闻其声切

Babbling, each one, the uniqueness of its sound.
There was no fury in transcendent forms.               (18)
But his actual candle blazed with artifice.            (19)

形趋趋,影徐徐,温文尔雅信步移
决绝不虚拟
持灵光,秉天启,聆其时务惠秘笈







译      注:



1. 初感原作创意独到,主旨鲜明,寓意隐性抽象,笔调传统古板,略具情趣,耐人推敲回味;堪称异域上品灯谜诗作

2. 原作旁证、佐证,有理有据,环环相扣,步步为营;起承转合,一气呵成;论城论墙,泾渭分明

3. 诗歌标题别致一景,尤为奇异:宏观广义,咫尺千里,犹如锦上添花,园中肇园,画中作画

4. 整篇诗歌欣赏,令人联想当年变形金刚,可整体把玩,可分阕猜想,使爱不释手,品味深长

5. 本诗歌雷同或与下文堪称孪生子:




a.




what's it ?



It's a foot high,
It's a foot wide,

When it stands,
when it lies;

Soon answer comes,
as common objects.





b.


     Acquainted with the night  

              ____by  Robert Frost ( US / 1874-1963 )                           
                       



I have been one acquainted with the night.
I have walked out in rain—and back in rain.
I have outwalked the furthest city light.

I have looked down the saddest city lane.
I have passed by the watchman on his beat
And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.

I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet
When far away an interrupted cry
Came over houses from another street,

But not to call me back or say good-bye;
And further still at an unearthly height,
One luminary clock against the sky

Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been one acquainted with the night.





6. Quiet Normal Life:本作此处理解:发声渺茫,宏观性/常规性/规范性/楷模性,生存者/活动者/存在者

7. as:本作此处理解:与 so 呼应;作“太/如此... ...以致... ...”解

8. sat:本作此处理解:使... ...置/放/坐落... ... 于... ...(非坐于... ...)

9. on the part of:本作此处理解:基于/出于/因为... ...而... ...

10.It:本作此处理解:= This was the setting and the time Of year.

11.here:本作此处理解:= 第二阕

12.setting:本作此处理解:= Here ...sound.

13.Here:本作此处理解:= 这/此时

14.the oldest and the warmest:本作此处理解:= 成熟/在望/炉火纯青/箭在弦上/一触即发

15.heart was cut:本作此处理解:= 机缘/玄机,脱颖/绽现

16.gallant notions:本作此处理解:= 欢欣鼓舞/豪迈激情

17.late and alone, above:本作此处理解:= 后来者/黑马者/潜水者/力排众议者/蟾宫折桂者,居上/领先/力拔头筹

18.no fury in transcendent forms:本作此处理解:(虽)慢条斯理/从容不迫/娓娓/侃侃...而...但是...知微见著,微言大义

19.actual candle blazed with artifice:本作此处理解:= 可用于现实/实际操作的/合于/给予/合情合理的/智慧/技巧

20.出于对原作创意宗旨、风格手笔负全责,出于规避越俎代庖之嫌疑,另鉴于原作描述已明晰,本意已洞若观火,本译作修辞移就度至此止步

21.欢迎所有诗歌朋友参与切磋研讨,形式无条件,规模自定义






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沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2018-11-4 11:05 | 只看该作者
补丁 1:

8. sat:本作此处理解:安插,架设,布置,陈设,摆放;使... ...置/放/坐落... ... 于... ...(非坐于... ...)

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板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2018-11-4 11:05 | 只看该作者
李世纯 发表于 2018-11-4 11:05
补丁 1:

8. sat:本作此处理解:安插,架设,布置,陈设,摆放;使... ...置/放/坐落... ... 于... ... ...

补丁 2.

14.the oldest and the warmest:本作此处理解:= 成熟/在望/炉火纯青/箭在弦上/一触即发
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地板
 楼主| 发表于 2018-11-4 11:09 | 只看该作者
补丁 2.

14.the oldest and the warmest:本作此处理解:= 喷薄欲出,蓄势待发,烈火干柴,成熟/在望/炉火纯青/箭在弦上/一触即发,
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5#
 楼主| 发表于 2018-11-4 11:14 | 只看该作者
李世纯 发表于 2018-11-4 11:09
补丁 2.

14.the oldest and the warmest:本作此处理解:= 喷薄欲出,蓄势待发,烈火干柴,成熟/在望/炉 ...

补 丁 3:

19.actual candle blazed with artifice:本作此处理解:= 宏观:实事求是的,符合自然规律、自然法则的,微观:可用于现实/实际操作的/合于/给予/合情合理的/智慧/技巧
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6#
 楼主| 发表于 2018-11-4 11:41 | 只看该作者
补丁4.


为方便诗歌朋友双11前猜中谜底,本外国灯谜诗再版更新如下:




大音希声常自在



His place, as he sat and as he thought, was not       (7.8)
In anything that he constructed, so frail,
So barely lit, so shadowed over and naught,

其空灵隐匿,扑朔迷离
纵有所作,皆出一己
然其所在,不可思议

As, for example, a world in which, like snow,
He became an inhabitant, obedient
To gallant notions on the part of cold.                (9)

是比冰天雪地
变身土著
大义凛然,挺身迎敌

It was here. This was the setting and the time         (10.11.12)
Of year.
Here in his house and in his room,            (13)
In his chair, the most tranquil thought grew peaked

正如许,经年历久之壮举
出其舍,出其室,出其椅
悄声一念,一军突起

And the oldest and the warmest heart was cut           (14.15)
By gallant notions on the part of night --             (16)
Both late and alone, above the crickets' chords,       (17)

形已成,势在即,万籁俱寂就际
后其身者尤身先
夜半独鸣至

Babbling, each one, the uniqueness of its sound.
There was no fury in transcendent forms.               (18)
But his actual candle blazed with artifice.            (19)

步趋趋,履徐徐,行色至简无卓奇
秉灵光,承天启
聆其时务惠秘籍。





----------------------------------------------------


附    注:


       为方便诗歌朋友双11前猜中谜底,本外国灯谜诗再版更新如下:
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7#
 楼主| 发表于 2018-11-4 11:41 | 只看该作者
补丁4.


为方便诗歌朋友双11前猜中谜底,本外国灯谜诗再版更新如下:




大音希声常自在



His place, as he sat and as he thought, was not       (7.8)
In anything that he constructed, so frail,
So barely lit, so shadowed over and naught,

其空灵隐匿,扑朔迷离
纵有所作,皆出一己
然其所在,不可思议

As, for example, a world in which, like snow,
He became an inhabitant, obedient
To gallant notions on the part of cold.                (9)

是比冰天雪地
变身土著
大义凛然,挺身迎敌

It was here. This was the setting and the time         (10.11.12)
Of year.
Here in his house and in his room,            (13)
In his chair, the most tranquil thought grew peaked

正如许,经年历久之壮举
出其舍,出其室,出其椅
悄声一念,一军突起

And the oldest and the warmest heart was cut           (14.15)
By gallant notions on the part of night --             (16)
Both late and alone, above the crickets' chords,       (17)

形已成,势在即,万籁俱寂就际
后其身者尤身先
夜半独鸣至

Babbling, each one, the uniqueness of its sound.
There was no fury in transcendent forms.               (18)
But his actual candle blazed with artifice.            (19)

步趋趋,履徐徐,行色至简无卓奇
秉灵光,承天启
聆其时务惠秘籍。





----------------------------------------------------


附    注:


       为方便诗歌朋友双11前猜中谜底,本外国灯谜诗再版更新如下:
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8#
发表于 2018-11-4 19:12 | 只看该作者
向您问好
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9#
 楼主| 发表于 2018-11-4 19:30 | 只看该作者

幸会幸会
有诗友选来之上诗歌,大家同译
相互学习,畅所欲言,不必客气


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10#
 楼主| 发表于 2018-11-7 21:40 | 只看该作者


美 国 谜 语 诗 《 A Quiet Normal Life 》 解 读 与 谜 底





原   文 / 中  文 / 解   读




A Quiet Normal Life (6)

                     ____ Wallace - Stevens( US / 1879 -1955)



《 大音希声常自在 》  
   
                     ____ 华莱士 · 史蒂文斯( 美  /  1879 -1955)





His place, as he sat and as he thought, was not      
In anything that he constructed, so frail,
So barely lit, so shadowed over and naught,

凡其之所在,无不其作外
空灵,飘逸,扑朔,迷离
隐隐匿匿,不可思议

As, for example, a world in which, like snow,
He became an inhabitant, obedient
To gallant notions on the part of cold.               

是比沐冰雪
易身跻土著
凛然御寒,义无反顾

It was here. This was the setting and the time         
Of year. Here in his house and in his room,            
In his chair, the most tranquil thought grew peaked

正如许,经年历久之壮举
出其舍,出其室,出其椅
悄声一念,一军崛起

And the oldest and the warmest heart was cut           
By gallant notions on the part of night --            
Both late and alone, above the crickets' chords,      

形已成,势临界
万籁俱寂夜
后其身者尤身先,惟闻其声切

Babbling, each one, the uniqueness of its sound.
There was no fury in transcendent forms.               
But his actual candle blazed with artifice.            


虽大音希声,虽微言大义
然其灵光天启
时务秘笈









读 后 感:


1.

    本美国灯谜诗难得一见,整篇诗文寥寥十五行,深入浅出,论证、宣示辩证哲理、禅玄道义,论证、宣示各宗正道理论、学说、创意、灵感、玄机、智慧、法律法规,政策策略,信仰条律... ...一切常规意识形态均源于实践,进而涅槃、逆袭、引领、实践,推动事物发展;论证、宣示天地万象无不量变、质变、升华、飞跃... ...轮回,论证、宣示道法规律,无不无为而为,无言无声运行大千世界;其既潜在又显相,不论理智盲目感知认知与否,我们日常所为无时无刻无不生存其中。


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