汉译英练习《你在，所以我在》,请大家指正

李艳敏

《你在，所以我在》
作者：南北

我在，是因为你在
是因为，你看到了我
并唤出我的名字

犹如一棵开花的树
它的气息被蜜蜂嗅到
而美丽被我发现  

你在，所以我在
你读到了我内心的声音
你说，花在开  
2011-4-17

You are here, so am I
By Nanbei

I am here,because you are here
You have seen me
and called my name

As the fragrance of a blooming tree
was smelled by bees.
Beauty is found by me.

You are here, so am I.
You have heard the sound of my heart
You said, “Flowers are blooming.”
2011-4-17

忍淹留

胶东读者 发表于 2014-7-5 21:14
and called my name

这句可以改为  and could say my name

可供参考的。