作者:查尔斯.布考斯基
( T3 L, P" q- n* _0 m7 A翻译:莫笑愚, _' F4 n7 K# W( G: x7 p* S* z8 u
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《自杀的孩子》0 x3 H" L+ y4 N3 j
% |( K+ r/ m$ w+ h) k* q* k$ d' v我去了最糟的酒吧
! S, o, T0 O: x$ i" ~! \' b指望在那儿
* R" i* U6 e, F- z/ C$ y# S被谋杀。
. U+ K; [- M% e- Z8 d但我所能做的只是
& B( v5 m! s2 X; G2 @/ c再次将自己
X0 H! J4 v7 e+ b3 _7 x灌醉。3 v' X/ H: ], V$ v
更糟的是,酒友们甚至$ T% q& s, D. M) G4 E" D
开始
: U7 _) J9 a2 q( [& i8 m3 P喜欢我了。
8 K3 j! \- @! Z+ r W) M我在那儿只想惹怒别人
+ R+ _' D4 u" z* \并被推入黑暗的+ k1 ^* T$ }4 H. ?
深渊2 Q0 p: d" h: _( {2 a; I6 y" \" l
结果是我赢得了' f9 V: o) f1 y- p4 I( ^
免费饮品8 X$ K7 Z6 V' E( a; k* ]& o
恰逢某地
# n1 p" \& R/ i/ _0 m某个
! W4 Y3 z q5 n" t) [' b: t龟儿子躺在医院的
" X+ s$ P. M3 c- a/ n% g病床上,
; W: I) ?% ]" O% z全身插满了# g9 H1 s+ w$ x. K5 M
管子+ X" s* P: u- u3 v1 e; ]) |
为了活着,他拼命挣扎
/ r6 f3 w ~/ Y3 ^% C2 M8 C0 J/ E使出了吃奶的劲。' E- j, A' p! b6 d# P# {
无人会助我
: y# N7 [' V$ |% `) @死亡
7 I3 d) m6 `5 Q a3 x当我们畅饮
" x% |9 E" _; [9 q. Q达旦,4 E9 V+ b( [' n. J& _7 U
当第二天5 O/ Z3 P. E6 J+ \
等着我
+ G u1 I* f! \% T+ a; |: z" |; @用它的钢钳,
7 E; U2 u/ Y ]9 B+ {; I8 k9 q用它臭气熏天的3 q/ g+ P1 p' P5 H. y
匿名,
6 I# L7 N5 S8 b* c它暧昧的0 a9 m* O. l5 D3 ?& [, I
态度。9 g# E. Y2 b J H u' a% y
死亡并非总是0 p( `! m! q0 E9 X
如期而至
2 Y! @+ H; f$ D& G) X" N6 j当你呼唤, }0 h/ F$ p$ H- K/ c) b* B$ o& a
它,
( i* S8 k" @. D+ |2 h" _; z2 v3 e4 y哪怕你从一个
$ J& c8 U& n+ U& j! y: w闪光的
3 x4 s4 `( `7 P- S4 M' N! {城堡
# B: G V; A3 E0 q1 @' z- v- A或者从一艘远洋游轮4 w4 c, }# l) F; d0 O" ~& }/ `$ d
或者从地球上; `9 b1 l L# h0 _; Q0 a
最好(或最差)
4 d9 h( I# M! H- ?的酒吧呼
2 l% a* t: s; z( V. j* c唤它。
6 T; ]4 _( U4 N2 u1 Z如此无礼8 j9 K9 F! Z* x$ Y" t8 g
只会令众神
9 M6 v3 F8 B: W$ U犹豫并
3 U- N# u. B: m' {; P8 u8 i推迟死期。! A/ C% _1 |$ H4 o# c
问我:我已4 v8 Y- x- z% @. @- e; S
72岁了。
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; c3 g7 i. Y4 |! K$ j. n《致拿走我诗歌的荡妇》) o6 K1 [" a8 R S4 a8 {
7 K' o8 W7 Y2 y( e) ^2 l有人说该让悔恨远离3 \/ a7 q6 {3 i5 S/ c9 b
诗歌,
9 X/ ?" L* [$ r该抽象,这貌似有理,* ?3 K0 c1 k& e$ h* q, r( N4 q
但是耶稣啊;
: e6 G/ e* {. F* C- t12首诗歌失踪了我连尸首也找不到而你还拿走了 Q j- Z: K5 ] O0 b
我的
/ f& c/ \* }& A9 D7 Z0 O/ I油画,我最好的墨宝; 这令我窒息;
5 Q! a. @8 ]4 @+ t难道你也像她们一样要榨干我的皮?
9 y5 W/ H3 f9 K为何不拿走我的现金?她们通常会从一个醉醺醺
) e2 Y U v, G- ^0 w4 X* ^- H; f& u昏睡在角落的醉鬼裤兜里拿走金钱
" ^; N# s) G0 a/ {8 ^: f下次就拿走我的左臂或者一张50元的钞票) G6 I. ?8 i6 }8 X
但不要拿走我的诗歌:+ m6 }6 e- t' ]! v/ D$ G
我并非莎士比亚" e- Z% r% ^3 L2 ^
但有时候就是
& b: K, e6 m9 h$ {$ J' i5 q再也不会有诗歌,抽象或其它;
4 u; e. J" g! ^3 _$ t. E但钱和荡妇和醉鬼却总是遍地皆是" Z; |( R# c! t- U1 Q' D; V1 P* p
直至最后一枚炸弹,0 N7 r7 D' S0 V2 `0 M
但正如上帝所说,2 n9 d+ D3 V I9 @( q, e/ {) C
当他翘着二郎腿儿,
, y$ ]2 M/ A5 \2 X3 L我知道我在何处造就了许多诗人
) ~& V( c/ V$ x' O而并非众多( X' ]+ m4 C2 V
诗歌。8 [$ c) P# D, i
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+ t$ c5 T5 p0 \0 C- Y附英文原文:% I6 ^; e6 Q( _- d+ a- I
/ ?# N- y# J: ^ I$ D2 b+ FTHE SUICIDE KID
5 U# F; S0 g' ]: I' Oby Charles Bukowski4 m6 J( E% @" M8 Y% D
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( F" [! y0 E! j: U0 BI went to the worst of bars
% C7 `% L8 J9 Rhoping to get6 L6 L2 l& A! c( x5 c2 L
killed.3 ?2 |& ?- y" _1 X+ k* C
but all I could do was to) Q6 I% W2 I7 m1 T
get drunk
& e2 O. J/ Q( Uagain." i! n4 d# |$ x, V- a
worse, the bar patrons even3 i( T0 D) a) l* ]6 t9 W/ [' G
ended up- T [( r }& k( M& F" o
liking me./ r5 U2 C5 P! i& e u
there I was trying to get$ \0 K8 _8 D7 L& O/ }( i+ ]
pushed over the dark; [6 X( v+ j+ {" S; v7 G- W0 D
edge
: i R$ W' q' K3 D" g- Tand I ended up with' B/ q$ ]1 i9 h. M6 s+ t8 Q h
free drinks2 e* l* R. L; P0 N R) E
while somewhere else
3 H, F" Y& |* p+ K3 Vsome poor; C/ O! W t7 z( u8 z( s
son-of-a-bitch was in a hospital
6 }6 F0 m$ a, _- f) X3 h2 C& T. g* hbed,
3 ^ S1 s! D/ N* e3 e' w* {+ Ttubes sticking out all over
) K( I) E* Q. x* lhim' n$ ~7 l: y6 m G9 @6 N
as he fought like hell
! D) i# D6 I0 ^" k" {to live.5 `& k5 F! c i
nobody would help me
# S2 J4 q6 I9 e" ^" zdie as
6 k" W6 g! ~$ F1 k2 wthe drinks kept; U2 x9 @, N, n7 Q
coming,
" U, t" m; `" J9 Qas the next day* a9 E: A0 o W" V6 l( k
waited for me
* |# n9 B4 m/ `4 g, c$ ^! l) Owith its steel clamps,2 e" ^7 P( P" j# [
its stinking, r! k, |" E( k8 `$ c5 `8 I
anonymity,/ y. w( \2 ~/ T' {- p
its incognisant
% A$ \. z Q! V; Fattitude.
6 R7 J- L- b+ Hdeath doesn’t always
; {) S8 L" l+ F& d% I% k( H8 J$ Fcome running+ t+ j4 j# S. ^% ]! n& p& B
when you call1 t! h& w7 k) Q1 u
it,
1 u- ^4 H6 C) S. M2 Knot even if you
/ L! [- _4 T) m6 A; }; o1 Wcall it
! S' e4 |" M* dfrom a shining; Q* {$ H$ l' _$ l
castle
& Q7 Z5 ?. K/ mor from an ocean liner8 _6 t+ y5 \3 w, M; S
or from the best bar
! R8 E9 s& U2 m, g6 K# d) r; D+ ]! hon earth (or the9 Y- O3 e" K/ p) U& o+ W
worst).
, E* I# r' p5 h* Lsuch impertinence" J2 T; z7 H7 b8 V
only makes the gods
* k2 ]5 }" |2 Y6 uhesitate and( d, M8 P: s, F( F. W
delay.$ Z: o5 S3 n3 i: O9 j/ W8 b
ask me: I’m
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" ]8 u, h8 o( I7 e( [1 |" jTO THE WHORE WHO TOOK MY POEMS+ Z/ f* v# K3 O x, T* ?3 X, P
BY CHARLES BUKOWSKI7 v* U' s" R# a4 L9 k! E
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& {" H, r' J( isome say we should keep personal remorse from the ; ]& T0 f5 W3 F( S3 I& \' T! q
poem,
! ?; U8 X, D" f: e# ^; k* X7 Estay abstract, and there is some reason in this,
% E6 y: O& g( mbut jezus;1 b; u3 r, p |5 _' t6 C
twelve poems gone and I don't keep carbons and you have
, c1 B9 k" e. b& R1 S8 `my ) \% H- L& A; w' n, X3 f J. d
paintings too, my best ones; it's stifling; A, a8 p" d' @" t; U/ k+ q
are you trying to crush me out like the rest of them?
7 B L6 w3 r' [5 K% cwhy didn't you take my money? they usually do
& H4 T& h0 s9 Z! x& G" kfrom the sleeping drunken pants sick in the corner.2 ]! [" q! D B X
next time take my left arm or a fifty* M* }% U% P9 l i& ]4 w8 B7 [1 W
but not my poems:
$ G5 B6 M3 k: ~% p' ]I'm not Shakespeare
1 f+ k: G' K gbut sometime simply
6 b9 U' W* Z4 Q- p, o1 j, qthere won't be any more, abstract or otherwise;8 N' S8 f1 \6 v- T2 F/ s
there'll always be money and whores and drunkards
1 h7 U0 `. L" z. fdown to the last bomb,
0 K7 { u/ }& } D9 a$ o5 D& hbut as God said,
# z" J% J' ]5 B( ecrossing his legs,
% n+ o! `7 J" V2 j# fI see where I have made plenty of poets
/ w5 o% s/ s. q( ]but not so very much
2 X/ ^' W2 k% ]) ^6 ?& u) xpoetry.
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