作者:查尔斯.布考斯基8 S$ p/ c; v; a' u4 w4 w
翻译:莫笑愚
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《自杀的孩子》
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3 B; [1 V5 e1 B; `' W我去了最糟的酒吧
2 p- I' Y1 {6 @! O) R& i指望在那儿- G; H {, D( @$ L9 Q7 y
被谋杀。
8 ~- ^6 o. P2 _8 `/ f, ~# J) I o但我所能做的只是! D( P6 T+ r! I: i" m
再次将自己
" E/ u6 U8 p6 N/ `8 m灌醉。
; ^7 d1 T3 q, f3 S. ^ o4 z更糟的是,酒友们甚至! D( S& W9 T% t" q1 v) V, d
开始) x( h- }9 t, C8 D8 M# @6 t
喜欢我了。
0 g$ d9 ^& W; k# s% q3 {( W2 _我在那儿只想惹怒别人4 y3 D1 C2 {' B
并被推入黑暗的
9 q( ~: l2 V4 Q/ g: A- i0 G' ?6 X深渊
+ z4 B& w7 {! J; i |1 d7 L- I结果是我赢得了( K2 r2 R7 |6 I r k& T Q8 T
免费饮品7 [% D+ q x1 \0 v
恰逢某地
* s5 Z+ I" G$ j ~+ T某个
% N; P+ A4 C% G1 D- s龟儿子躺在医院的8 u/ A/ y" u9 |2 c- Z
病床上,
$ g+ @& h- A4 Y0 Y; Z! R: i全身插满了4 B3 @7 d: I$ t: T: z% l% a7 C
管子
) |( O2 {! x1 K为了活着,他拼命挣扎. ]# [$ L6 C) n# Y- K3 V+ J
使出了吃奶的劲。
- I j2 p( {2 T$ N' W- O* e; }无人会助我6 s7 @( ~. \# l) O% m: q, f7 q
死亡/ d3 z% c0 b! f: `, N3 T. h
当我们畅饮
! O# {$ X. E- A: a达旦,# ?2 q) W1 k" e& L
当第二天% w, ?* u2 W) E1 V
等着我( y% d8 ?$ R3 W- \0 O
用它的钢钳, m5 i; P7 q; y! e* R ?: E
用它臭气熏天的' T$ Y+ Z% Q% r/ L1 O
匿名,
! D$ [" ]) }3 D6 e! @它暧昧的# g8 a4 y1 a* W C5 I
态度。
) N) }1 X( {5 p# U2 i& v8 r死亡并非总是
6 I% e9 m; p D- N如期而至
" M; Y9 t& i) e. y/ C当你呼唤
5 C- T0 Q0 j9 t1 F4 I6 e它,& d$ q) D. v; Y- H
哪怕你从一个5 k w" h, ~. B3 Y) f
闪光的! l n0 ]$ c; y: E
城堡
! I) l" n2 T8 u) v- f或者从一艘远洋游轮
( d2 ]" ?; ]) e或者从地球上
3 ?2 P9 [# q0 ]6 Q+ M最好(或最差)
" Y. V0 e3 G. A+ T的酒吧呼0 z: j- J2 y& e7 T) ?3 i! D& {
唤它。
" ~' J# M& d3 Z1 b如此无礼
4 L0 g& ?0 K5 W, p- { c. u1 q只会令众神1 Y. W8 V% N, ]; y) X! Y! G
犹豫并
! m/ A. T8 ~/ p" d! z- U推迟死期。
) Y5 _; k }9 b/ h+ o问我:我已
6 h6 P: r# Z+ J72岁了。
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《致拿走我诗歌的荡妇》
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3 [6 d9 e$ s9 }有人说该让悔恨远离- z: R* u# }; O' Z
诗歌,
" O8 V% Y0 o! R; C$ d( P该抽象,这貌似有理,, @) Z2 K) R ~; Q- j# ]. Y. X+ f% m
但是耶稣啊;( r4 Q F& R. X( c8 q1 d% s
12首诗歌失踪了我连尸首也找不到而你还拿走了" V9 z& }0 d* R- u5 @
我的2 w* y1 b J1 J
油画,我最好的墨宝; 这令我窒息;
- z2 d3 n, M5 I" i6 e( ]难道你也像她们一样要榨干我的皮?, [5 J7 v, f# k5 s. l
为何不拿走我的现金?她们通常会从一个醉醺醺
1 s# ^" Y7 o9 q9 n昏睡在角落的醉鬼裤兜里拿走金钱( a' S% G) X \# W; a
下次就拿走我的左臂或者一张50元的钞票5 z9 m% h) e7 x" d% w! d7 E
但不要拿走我的诗歌:
0 Q- ^1 a9 c- ?' [) [我并非莎士比亚7 p! H. f3 l: j6 d4 X) ~9 u6 f
但有时候就是" P% W* l3 R2 ?8 S1 o( k3 n
再也不会有诗歌,抽象或其它;
# L# ]4 `* j4 _6 E/ p9 @但钱和荡妇和醉鬼却总是遍地皆是
' Q/ A4 _/ H% V3 k% ~ D直至最后一枚炸弹,
! V; B$ ~5 k7 r) c但正如上帝所说,
- s% y4 U$ k% w$ b$ Q1 U' g当他翘着二郎腿儿,
) `9 g* n/ J$ R! f8 ?/ L$ }" {我知道我在何处造就了许多诗人5 ^2 T: p0 q0 a& x: @* P" u4 Z+ I
而并非众多
( G3 K. ~# w( @- C- I诗歌。
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附英文原文:1 ]# L6 F% v' s3 p
7 q* C/ I& A; t- j4 p5 H4 i. Z OTHE SUICIDE KID
5 v: x, K7 X2 s( q8 l0 v+ ~ Rby Charles Bukowski. P4 {1 w" @4 D3 X. Z# V
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I went to the worst of bars5 _, a r2 t- r! \/ ]- \
hoping to get
' r% h* G7 F0 W# o' v% gkilled.1 R3 b. V8 F7 j, I- |: `
but all I could do was to! z9 L3 A3 [. J2 M+ m
get drunk
7 \$ v7 o0 d" a" _; ^7 `again.7 ^) f) U7 U/ N6 |: v" Q
worse, the bar patrons even& S: q) K$ w5 Y4 K
ended up
8 v$ m( O' E% z1 nliking me.# H% v1 O" O% S2 e3 ^6 w
there I was trying to get
0 @* R6 }& p2 K* e S4 [$ Jpushed over the dark
6 q" } C. y/ K! A g1 }" |edge
; P3 L% g. d7 A3 K R$ ~+ t& `% J# Dand I ended up with
" I) G$ w3 w4 ]% L3 g! F: H" y1 }free drinks
$ E2 S( f& H+ }: jwhile somewhere else
4 j4 t8 j1 M1 q, b' s3 U9 Isome poor" V2 a+ |4 @" K- X6 g
son-of-a-bitch was in a hospital
" Z4 f7 g8 ^( h+ I) Pbed,+ u" g, F1 w0 {
tubes sticking out all over
) `, @1 f( K' ?, N4 Nhim; ?- J* `7 @& G1 @
as he fought like hell4 p& i4 R w' S& k
to live.5 |2 W9 J3 n; c/ k! o$ H9 m
nobody would help me
8 g7 w w& D j. D: rdie as
; i j p Y. fthe drinks kept8 |& E. E3 Z: n/ `% `: s
coming,
- }/ _+ H' v$ }' z$ _as the next day
3 M0 x- S, T, ~8 w! ewaited for me; h8 g7 x5 p8 E+ Z
with its steel clamps,
1 x- ?# D! Z$ N0 |its stinking/ W, I; T% V9 Y7 r, \: L5 o1 \
anonymity,/ a m. L) ^- {4 U: d
its incognisant
* M8 P5 ]4 j& L- t* Uattitude.( K( T p) q0 ]% r N
death doesn’t always0 r& S/ N' R- M) r5 W
come running+ s9 L' v& B! | x$ W
when you call% q4 p( v( ~$ E. ]$ y
it,9 m$ P$ T# A L
not even if you1 P$ G, v6 s, J
call it/ }) k& r; Y: R! X
from a shining0 m4 [5 F- a0 i7 a# O: [
castle, v# o! t, s5 O# r) B" G
or from an ocean liner) K) j7 r1 _ n
or from the best bar L9 G- l" ]& e
on earth (or the- |! U4 r; y" ?" A
worst).) ^4 J1 C) j& D5 p$ r% T
such impertinence
! A r% [4 L, a0 r5 ?* zonly makes the gods6 W( w2 }" }. z4 K# Z& J. f
hesitate and
9 b2 U. T+ s: |delay.
6 N7 g; N# A, I; kask me: I’m
. K8 E' |* n" {2 K& S72.
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* ?3 I4 b8 E4 f: P \! C* c& FTO THE WHORE WHO TOOK MY POEMS
6 N- @5 z1 `% SBY CHARLES BUKOWSKI: J. z: [& k" B8 a$ D2 B9 i
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8 j6 A, Z% g8 [# y' hsome say we should keep personal remorse from the
- P" |' Q' ? t4 wpoem,4 _8 _+ Y1 ^5 T$ J2 d
stay abstract, and there is some reason in this,& z0 a5 U6 Y9 Q* A
but jezus;
/ w, f+ y( z. X- }) O; btwelve poems gone and I don't keep carbons and you have
6 r" s9 f! Z# u, F/ `. w8 h+ ]; Dmy - w+ ^& O, S/ n& _1 V3 H7 K2 r
paintings too, my best ones; it's stifling;0 a( A6 m4 {. O+ t) }5 D6 H
are you trying to crush me out like the rest of them?
' z$ S& |7 p/ {4 Hwhy didn't you take my money? they usually do
6 G2 O3 Y; E! }( t/ Pfrom the sleeping drunken pants sick in the corner.
" V2 K6 r, V& Q: a' @6 s! Y& H# ?1 ~next time take my left arm or a fifty
! L9 M5 ?- b! e7 O# vbut not my poems:
+ D. Z8 t& ^$ Y" \$ WI'm not Shakespeare
. ]2 A- c, @" e0 q! N$ H' kbut sometime simply
7 H+ N" ~) h. l! f7 H) T s2 othere won't be any more, abstract or otherwise;6 Z* x' z( m5 Q/ {
there'll always be money and whores and drunkards
. G4 Z( d- e. X# X3 fdown to the last bomb,
3 l5 L( x5 R2 H, t7 @9 T1 \$ L3 ~but as God said,, d X7 J0 I, }2 F" Y" y
crossing his legs,6 O) i0 Q* ~ m) x; j0 ]. {/ Z- B
I see where I have made plenty of poets n+ E) C) c/ v) Y I
but not so very much. k. @; `* ~+ o+ i U% v
poetry.
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