作者:查尔斯.布考斯基
. |" q E. Y5 C翻译:莫笑愚6 r# p# w; Q+ B- c
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7 s: O" p! O% r" k《自杀的孩子》 _4 @; l4 W; ^8 P* V
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我去了最糟的酒吧' Y" h/ r3 y/ w" N1 ^
指望在那儿8 ?9 \. `8 R" e, O' D6 V1 ]
被谋杀。8 |- \1 L2 G. S( {
但我所能做的只是; P3 T$ h& A% k( F0 |
再次将自己
2 J/ h( r- ^) @: }灌醉。
- m8 ]& v- _8 `# `更糟的是,酒友们甚至: e; w @0 H" u: c
开始( H2 \, |$ r9 v; Z
喜欢我了。9 x5 L4 B2 o* f% @' E
我在那儿只想惹怒别人
* d! Q& [; X/ }+ D. D4 C( D并被推入黑暗的
& j- b$ L) n! E) V" L深渊" b7 y9 c7 t' F( g% x: V
结果是我赢得了
2 t3 Q$ @1 A5 ^0 c! c免费饮品4 k) j ^6 C* D# L+ q9 k
恰逢某地
7 M5 M% Z$ Z3 m; ]' h' s. p某个
# e8 p* l+ j: X. C% r7 c/ B龟儿子躺在医院的$ k6 w; H# b! V% b0 Y4 v( F9 X6 O0 \
病床上,
. x) e9 p z8 j: k2 o% x% L2 }全身插满了' X+ _% o& o0 S, g- s; X4 N8 ]1 P
管子* ^8 H& b1 p1 X& ]
为了活着,他拼命挣扎/ H- N0 x5 G9 h4 e
使出了吃奶的劲。; n. ]1 F) [& H$ |) D, ]8 r8 n
无人会助我2 F a$ O9 ?* g6 u7 u2 P: j: ~& W; [
死亡
" a, T; v: y6 D! i. R当我们畅饮
( `, f# C6 ^5 j1 a4 a+ |" e0 \ G; s达旦,
8 \5 Y" e( d% m* y0 J3 e当第二天
Y) a( \+ @$ V. `; g" Z等着我6 w. }8 {) r" }$ H
用它的钢钳,2 x' W+ _' b3 s/ C& Q
用它臭气熏天的7 y8 E3 ~9 s0 j
匿名,
# p+ C& B) M1 Y它暧昧的2 b0 w4 z% T: Z( ~- {
态度。
( o1 d" z/ }5 R5 ^8 ]. {$ g' t* d死亡并非总是
) N- a; g/ A- Z" T4 b9 \如期而至
$ y& k1 `2 O6 v当你呼唤
# [5 k& p$ k) R y5 R它,, }6 g& v+ w& \5 e, ^+ _' p% e
哪怕你从一个
8 k0 W: y3 N" K" ~; B闪光的- L- ~' p: U9 N' |
城堡" c# H% F3 W9 t f
或者从一艘远洋游轮* t1 K3 E- o$ l
或者从地球上
8 n; q8 _ r; m! m3 s最好(或最差)
' M6 {' j; Z# ^% j* Y4 K的酒吧呼
/ @. D; t! t% \+ ` o N6 G唤它。
! ^' k, R: y4 u t% _4 ~如此无礼
# H/ k# U+ J" o! `1 V/ p$ J( t只会令众神
* o$ u ^ B/ {- U$ ?犹豫并
3 _, A# ~! g! p: M8 x推迟死期。# A) {0 [7 e0 C. ^3 T
问我:我已: f: r& g- |% y, I$ A. {/ L
72岁了。3 R" O+ d7 Z! s$ n7 d, L, V; f
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《致拿走我诗歌的荡妇》
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有人说该让悔恨远离/ r! X7 {& a$ d" N3 J v
诗歌,3 V' c( F5 V: e0 e
该抽象,这貌似有理,
8 H: r# a4 v; n但是耶稣啊;
L: _' G0 I! F }+ \12首诗歌失踪了我连尸首也找不到而你还拿走了
' F4 K/ B; s8 {我的
1 C( y& y5 R% l: G2 I油画,我最好的墨宝; 这令我窒息;8 X# g& t$ `' V" [- X( M
难道你也像她们一样要榨干我的皮?# Y* J$ h4 o" v+ x2 ]
为何不拿走我的现金?她们通常会从一个醉醺醺. m2 f! T+ b- [( G) y) m
昏睡在角落的醉鬼裤兜里拿走金钱& H. S4 B- g& i5 ^; W, N
下次就拿走我的左臂或者一张50元的钞票7 l" s: P" w: M( x* C2 F
但不要拿走我的诗歌:5 a3 N2 ~0 Q3 B$ f+ \' O n+ h
我并非莎士比亚( z; }5 Y6 a, }) \, l- a) F r" R, h
但有时候就是
. ?2 Z" ^$ ?* V4 i再也不会有诗歌,抽象或其它;! P+ b4 g& c. U8 ]4 |, k
但钱和荡妇和醉鬼却总是遍地皆是& s0 D1 X! v8 }. V1 J5 D
直至最后一枚炸弹,
/ A% D9 i, _& P l0 P k但正如上帝所说,
" F& B; j8 x4 e9 I' S: W当他翘着二郎腿儿,; [ [3 R5 k1 j2 B
我知道我在何处造就了许多诗人
/ M( A* N1 ^1 Y5 G0 U而并非众多
' A% U& t I3 ~5 E诗歌。
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: @" l( m# p! [2 |6 j, J附英文原文:$ q$ ~, B( o9 X( n% U
! |8 G4 F' S+ s5 n! C# N. STHE SUICIDE KID
! O- b& t. N7 j& F$ b- Lby Charles Bukowski+ I( k: `5 a! _
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I went to the worst of bars
" V4 @, a& g6 ihoping to get
3 R2 R" M3 o J: c( ` [' dkilled.
4 \0 E, I6 ?4 e. Kbut all I could do was to( y a% j G" {% e
get drunk! @# H, ~7 W- s- Y
again.
, k+ R3 K0 a) S# eworse, the bar patrons even
! N9 W$ d8 h$ M1 P* {4 Qended up
4 r4 F" P2 Z$ g+ eliking me.. z4 G% o q( J. A' r
there I was trying to get
" L) h/ q. `* N: O/ |+ @+ Npushed over the dark% n; Q# S1 }9 V/ b
edge
# B/ r+ y1 j- l# ]! i( T3 gand I ended up with
! Y: N$ [) m( i' tfree drinks4 s% ]9 ^6 \) ^$ x9 U3 ]7 o
while somewhere else) `" _, U" K& F2 `. T2 `+ }
some poor
- O) _3 r9 h; |# k4 }$ C% z8 T" }son-of-a-bitch was in a hospital" N ^* a3 G- F3 o
bed,
7 Y i3 I) L7 r g; d- R# n3 Wtubes sticking out all over: w* {+ q( |7 k# g
him; W) S& E! ]0 x" I" F
as he fought like hell4 h3 v" o: U3 T* W6 k8 p& G7 g8 R
to live. a0 f7 t7 { H9 q. X4 k8 x
nobody would help me
+ b6 ?, \8 q) |# |( ~die as& w- W" i* f+ m9 k% n# b) R. n/ z
the drinks kept6 e! B% U( ?$ s' H# o
coming,2 Z2 y E$ t' }5 s, h: m% ~0 ?: k& ?5 g
as the next day
5 n: r- B& X$ s0 t1 _, V1 x+ \waited for me
! f3 |" |- G/ ]: H J- L3 _2 G0 R- ~- z7 Kwith its steel clamps,
" V. D% T) H" g9 {. p) s# L; Iits stinking
- c* W: D* O. ]8 }4 E$ s' Q2 ganonymity,# A8 a% F7 v$ b/ K2 B
its incognisant
5 J* c# T. M4 @9 p+ X/ Gattitude.
( V% V: l# [5 q4 W$ o# q. _) U9 ?death doesn’t always
( L8 u8 Q$ b# V; | s+ [come running
3 [1 U& }3 ]% n+ C0 Qwhen you call
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not even if you; N6 \/ p% W) n) Z( C
call it2 x d3 I, r8 Q( Z# t; b, ~ Y
from a shining& P7 ~) W' P6 K& S% I7 M
castle* Y3 q1 b( @" I' h
or from an ocean liner
1 s3 y% A, s7 U/ kor from the best bar
. z: }' @$ c. s- w2 H9 `% Q! mon earth (or the. k! W* S) x( @2 _# f. O
worst).
6 G- g7 I( z+ ]4 Lsuch impertinence2 ^" n9 b A# }: b1 B
only makes the gods# n/ j/ q; ]9 o5 e) b& Y, h, j6 d; _
hesitate and, `3 t4 o% X; x) _
delay.
5 g3 G3 Y6 m- D8 y" d) s8 K. {ask me: I’m
7 O. g6 G6 @3 A' `72.
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2 }; I$ |' |% U% aTO THE WHORE WHO TOOK MY POEMS
2 Q, j+ g/ k" V9 d# [* yBY CHARLES BUKOWSKI+ ]: Z2 E+ G y) q3 c
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, _ z2 I; @5 o- p* b/ Esome say we should keep personal remorse from the
0 N5 B& C$ ~- _poem,4 x" w* j8 }2 }+ u
stay abstract, and there is some reason in this,7 t9 h" X/ H* N, {4 L8 ~. H* q
but jezus;
* p5 `$ z% \( G* F2 K: `twelve poems gone and I don't keep carbons and you have
?, j2 {) g$ l! R- hmy
% S( }( ]" ]6 T( C" }% ~paintings too, my best ones; it's stifling;9 A4 f, I6 \ J1 A: I. Q7 p
are you trying to crush me out like the rest of them?
3 u" }' K2 `- i( Y+ S3 |why didn't you take my money? they usually do
! C( H# K, S. {( mfrom the sleeping drunken pants sick in the corner.. x' g% T! J9 _$ @! A8 g. u
next time take my left arm or a fifty2 H9 M, |# ~" t. A1 S& s
but not my poems:6 M4 l5 j: o9 u) L9 U9 F3 f
I'm not Shakespeare- n- Q& {* ^ u6 Z a
but sometime simply
1 G) F5 I, S1 S" Q8 n* _there won't be any more, abstract or otherwise;/ `% R" f, P7 F' L6 r" S$ }
there'll always be money and whores and drunkards
) {* @# p/ Y: I; l; Cdown to the last bomb,
) Q1 Y; G# h/ R4 E$ c1 M6 m* N1 Qbut as God said,
, O: w; u/ ]6 P' Zcrossing his legs,; O3 n! Q# T) P5 o3 T
I see where I have made plenty of poets
2 t3 _/ E/ N) }2 Tbut not so very much
. p$ G, x1 i$ w" f- kpoetry. c& O: e1 t- V) Y7 P
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