勒斯波思
厨房里的恶意！
土豆嘶响。
全是好莱坞，没有窗，
白炽灯畏缩地明灭，像剧烈的偏头痛，
羞涩的纸条作门，
幕布，寡妇的卷发。
而我，爱，是病态的说谎者，
我的孩子——看她，脸贴在地上，
断了线的小木偶，踢甩着消失——
为何她精神分裂了，
她的脸红白相间，满是焦虑，
你把她的猫溺死在窗外的
某个水泥井中，
它们排泄呕吐哭喊她听不到。
你说你受不了她，
这女孩是个混蛋。
你烧毁你的管线，像一台破收音机，
清除声音和历史，新收音机
沉静的声音。
你说我应溺死那些猫。它们的味道！
你说我应溺死我的女儿。
如果她两岁发疯她肯定会在十岁自杀。
婴儿微笑，胖蜗牛，
从刷亮的菱形橙色亚麻油，
你能吃掉他。他是男孩。
你说丈夫虐待你。
他的犹太母亲守护他甜蜜的性如珍珠。
你有一个孩子，我有两个。
我应坐在康瓦尔的石上梳我的头发。
我应穿虎皮裤，我应有一次婚外情。
我们应相会于来生，聚首于空气，
我和你。
同时飘来油味和婴儿尿味。
昨晚的安眠药使我厚重。
烧饭的烟，地狱的烟
浮起我们的头，两种狠毒的对立，
我们的骨头，我们的发丝。
我叫你孤儿，孤儿。你病了。
阳光给你溃疡，风给你结核。
你曾一度美丽。
在纽约，在好莱坞，男人问：“完了？
天哪宝贝，你举世无双。”
你演，为刺激表演。
强加给你的丈夫因咖啡坐倒。
我试图留下他，
一根老避雷针，
酸浴，满天洗下你。
他蹒跚走下塑料鹅卵山，
被鞭笞的电车。火花湛蓝。
蓝火花飞溅，
像石英碎裂成千万片。
哦珠宝！哦珍贵！
那夜月亮
拖曳血袋，患病的
野兽
在港湾灯火上。
后来恢复正常，
坚硬，隔绝而苍白。
沙上的鳞光骇住我。
我们不断捡至满手，爱它，
像面团一样揉着。一具混血躯体，
丝的沙粒。
狗叼起你狼心狗肺的丈夫。他走下去。
现在我噤口，仇恨
漫上颈部，
厚，厚重。
我不说话。
我装起硬土豆像珍藏华服；
我装起孩子，
我装起病猫。
哦酸花瓶，
你满盛的是爱。你知道你恨谁。
他在门边拥着球链，
门开向海，
海涌入，黑白，
然后又涌出。
每天你用灵魂充盈他，像水罐。
你精疲力竭。
你的声音我的耳—鸣。
拍击吸吮，嗜血的蝙蝠。
就是如此。就是如此。
你从门口张望，
悲伤的老丑妇。“每个女人都卖身。
我无言以对。”
我看到你精美的装修
像婴儿的拳头攥起你，
或像风女花，海
甜心，盗窃狂。
我依然青涩。
我说我可能回来。
你知道为什么说谎。
就是在你禅的天堂里，我们也再不相逢。
Lesbos
Viciousness in the kitchen!
The potatoes hiss.
It is all Hollywood, windowless,
The fluorescent light wincing on and off like a terrible migraine,
Coy paper strips for doors --
Stage curtains, a widow's frizz.
And I, love, am a pathological liar,
And my child -- look at her, face down on the floor,
Little unstrung puppet, kicking to disappear --
Why she is schizophrenic,
Her face is red and white, a panic,
You have stuck her kittens outside your window
In a sort of cement well
Where they crap and puke and cry and she can't hear.
You say you can't stand her,
The bastard's a girl.
You who have blown your tubes like a bad radio
Clear of voices and history, the staticky
Noise of the new.
You say I should drown the kittens. Their smell!
You say I should drown my girl.
She'll cut her throat at ten if she's mad at two.
The baby smiles, fat snail,
From the polished lozenges of orange linoleum.
You could eat him. He's a boy.
You say your husband is just no good to you.
His Jew-Mama guards his sweet sex like a pearl.
You have one baby, I have two.
I should sit on a rock off Cornwall and comb my hair.
I should wear tiger pants, I should have an affair.
We should meet in another life, we should meet in air,
Me and you.
Meanwhile there's a stink of fat and baby crap.
I'm doped and thick from my last sleeping pill.
The smog of cooking, the smog of hell
Floats our heads, two venemous opposites,
Our bones, our hair.
I call you Orphan, orphan. You are ill.
The sun gives you ulcers, the wind gives you T.B.
Once you were beautiful.
In New York, in Hollywood, the men said: 'Through?
Gee baby, you are rare.'
You acted, acted for the thrill.
The impotent husband slumps out for a coffee.
I try to keep him in,
An old pole for the lightning,
The acid baths, the skyfuls off of you.
He lumps it down the plastic cobbled hill,
Flogged trolley. The sparks are blue.
The blue sparks spill,
Splitting like quartz into a million bits.
O jewel! O valuable!
That night the moon
Dragged its blood bag, sick
Animal
Up over the harbor lights.
And then grew normal,
Hard and apart and white.
The scale-sheen on the sand scared me to death.
We kept picking up handfuls, loving it,
Working it like dough, a mulatto body,
The silk grits.
A dog picked up your doggy husband. He went on.
Now I am silent, hate
Up to my neck,
Thick, thick.
I do not speak.
I am packing the hard potatoes like good clothes,
I am packing the babies,
I am packing the sick cats.
O vase of acid,
It is love you are full of. You know who you hate.
He is hugging his ball and chain down by the gate
That opens to the sea
Where it drives in, white and black,
Then spews it back.
Every day you fill him with soul-stuff, like a pitcher.
You are so exhausted.
Your voice my ear-ring,
Flapping and sucking, blood-loving bat.
That is that. That is that.
You peer from the door,
Sad hag. 'Every woman's a whore.
I can't communicate.'
I see your cute décor
Close on you like the fist of a baby
Or an anemone, that sea
Sweetheart, that kleptomaniac.
I am still raw.
I say I may be back.
You know what lies are for.
Even in your Zen heaven we shan't meet.
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发表于 2017-8-10 18:18
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