猪

潘学峰

猪

罗尔德·达尔

翻译：潘学峰

在英国曾经住着一个又大
又绝顶聪明的猪。
每个人都觉得它很一般
那猪仔有一个巨大的脑。
他能搞明白他脑子里路数，
他读遍世上所有的书。
他知道飞机凭着啥可以飞，
他知道机器如何工作以及为什么。
他知道这一切，但最终
还是被一个问题逼到了拐角：
他甚至根本无法猜出
“活着”究竟是为了什么。
他出生的原因是什么？
他为什么被放在这个地球？
他巨型的大脑想了又想。
唉，寻得答案依然无望。

直到突然一个奇妙的晚上。
所有在一瞬间他看到了曙光。
他跳起来像一个芭蕾舞演员
喊着：“哎呀！我已经得到了答案！”
“他们希望我的熏肉一片又一片
“片片卖个好价钱！
“他们希望我柔软多汁的肉排
“放在所有的屠夫的店铺！
“他们希望用我的肉做烧烤
“这可是最贵的那一道！
“他们希望我在香肠穿成串！
“他们竟然要我的肠！
“那肉店！那切肉的刀！
“这是我活着的原因！”
这些想法！并不是人为设计
给一头猪的伟大的思想。

第二天早上，来了农民布兰德，
他手里拎着一桶泔，
小猪发出强大的咆哮，
猛撞农夫倒地板......

现在到了问题的关键
所以，我们不要多扯淡，
不同之处在于你必须懂
那小猪把农夫布兰德吃了，
他从头把他吃到脚，
每一片肉都慢慢嚼到好。
花了一个小时才到脚，
因为可吃的实在多，
而当它把他吃完了，这猪，自然，
觉得绝不需要悔懊。
它慢慢挠了挠它聪明的头
微微一笑开了言：
“我有一个相当强烈的预感
“他没准儿是想把我当做他的午餐。
“所以，因为我担心这最坏的局面，
“我想我最好还是先把他吃了。”

The Pig

by Roald Dahl


In England once there lived a big
And wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain.
He worked out sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn't read.
He knew what made an airplane fly,
He knew how engines worked and why.
He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend:
He simply couldn't puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.
What was the reason for his birth?
Why was he placed upon this earth?
His giant brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found.
Till suddenly one wondrous night.
All in a flash he saw the light.
He jumped up like a ballet dancer
And yelled, "By gum, I've got the answer!"
"They want my bacon slice by slice
"To sell at a tremendous price!
"They want my tender juicy chops
"To put in all the butcher's shops!
"They want my pork to make a roast
"And that's the part'll cost the most!
"They want my sausages in strings!
"They even want my chitterlings!
"The butcher's shop! The carving knife!
"That is the reason for my life!"
Such thoughts as these are not designed
To give a pig great piece of mind.

Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,
A pail of pigswill in his hand,
And piggy with a mighty roar,
Bashes the farmer to the floor…

Now comes the rather grizzly bit
So let's not make too much of it,
Except that you must understand
That Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,
He ate him up from head to toe,
Chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet,
Because there was so much to eat,
And when he finished, Pig, of course,
Felt absolutely no remorse.
Slowly he scratched his brainy head
And with a little smile he said,
"I had a fairly powerful hunch
"That he might have me for his lunch.
"And so, because I feared the worst,
"I thought I'd better eat him first."