补丁2:
从最后三节看,view 更应该是:想法,见解,念头,本诗歌中,我们可取“匠心创意“更衔合理顺上下文
For the outlook that would be right, (愿景,目标、展望,前途、适合、恰当)
Where he would be complete in an unexplained completion:
The exact rock where his inexactnesses (疏忽、草率、含混、质疑)
Would discover, at last, the view toward which they had edged, (修整、打磨、界定、看法、景象)
(为了一个适合她的,属于她的,美不胜收的愿景,目标,即,也就是:)
(一块精致的,其诸多质疑点终将显示经他们修整的景象的石材之作(玉器))
(温馨提示:6节 与 5节中 outlook 同位;就文法而言,本诗至 outlook 为止)
本诗不是指即使诗集都蒙尘受世人冷落,诗人仍旧在具体创作某一/任一诗歌的时候,在诗歌的氧气——内在生命的魅力和追求——里抖擞精神前进,去抵达他在这首诗歌中要抵达的地方。
而是以一个i喻体诗歌(拟人的)为语境主人公,教诲读者,妙笔是写出的,精品是改出的,美誉都有黑历史,砥砺前行将听到掌声
诗人的教诲用托物寓意表达,物,不仅是诗人用的形式(诗歌),而且是内容中的拟人阐述(当一位诗歌朋友曾1 时,不要 2 ,要 3,而后,经过456 等过程,定将7,一个8样的7,9样的7。
诗人就是在讲我国的《为学》抑或《师说》而已
5. 全诗简言之:不是一册诗集摆在那里,而是诗写水平已令同行及读者不屑( his table.= 在其圈内,群里,诗界)而是诗人在用一位喻体名为诗歌者,阐述手笔平平应反思自省,应不落俗套写出独特风格,写出自我,应变劣势为优势,变缺点为亮点,这样才有可能诗苑出类拔萃,蟾宫折桂。从时态语态看,诗人并未经历了多少艰辛,而是准备经历艰辛,并未!而是有可能,最终抵达自我追求的目标,不是诗意灵魂的憩息之地。而是文笔文采卓越超群。
Even when the book lay turned in the dust of his table.
即便当您的诗歌已为业界不屑(注意:不是用 was ,而是 lay turned,暗喻中落过程,)
It reminded him how he had needed
A place to go to in his own direction,
您早该有自己的定位,自己的特色( 注意:how he had needed 多么需要有、、、虚拟语句)
It reminded him how he had needed:It=您的诗歌已为业界不屑
How he had recomposed the pines,
Shifted the rocks and picked his way among clouds,
您早该调整重组以往惯用字词章节笔触笔调等诗写套路,重新思考自己的风格特色( 注意:how he had 、、、、、多么需要有、、、虚拟语句)
For the outlook that would be right,
Where he would be complete in an unexplained completion:
以求一个适合自己,属于自己,理想地表现自己,美不胜收的美好前景
( 注意: 时态,would、、、、、多么需要有、、、虚拟语句,语境主人公并未发生的动作)
For the outlook that would be right,
Where he would be complete in an unexplained completion:
以求一个适合自己,属于自己,理想地表现自己,美不胜收的美好前景(前途)
( 注意: 时态,would、、、、、多么需要有、、、虚拟语句,语境主人公并未发生的动作)
For the outlook that would be right,
Where he would be complete in an unexplained completion:
The exact rock where his inexactnesses
Would discover, at last, the view toward which they had edged,
一具(其诸多草率处经自身修整打磨后终于实际显现出匠心创意多彩景观的)精美石头(玉器)
(注意: they = inexactnesses ,view = 创意,构思,构想; edged, = 精心蜜意打磨,修整;The exact rock属 5节中 the outlook同位词,所以,6节不可按句子理解)
节7应避免直译,转译为妥:我们理解:力争独占鳌头,出类拔萃翘楚华章
如按朋友翻译,与全文宗旨相左,试想诗人?谁人会鼓动他人,其自身亦未必向往与世隔绝,收缩幸福人生置于小屋子里
节7同节6 = 5节中 the outlook之同位词,用于排比加重渲染力度,所以,7节不可按句子理解)
诗歌取代了一座高山
诗人立意宏观广义表态论点,根据论说,属于泛指,“诗歌取代了一座高山”略显特指,给读者语感,这位外国诗人文不切题
而且助词“了”属过去时,不是吗?
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